Okay sort of minor issue but after having the great Christmas Tree hunt, my sons & I started decorating the tree, it takes a while we have lots of decorations but what do I do with all the ones that have STBX, the kids & my names on them. Do I let them put them up, throw in the trash, or just put away for them when they have their own homes? Any suggestions?<p>I am giving STBX some ornaments that I bought for him, as they were personal. Even giving him the one I bought for 10 anv. of course according to him the 11 yrs since were awful. Maybe we can get a hammer and break it together. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I just went through this.......I asked my mother what do I do with my wedding dress, shoes, and other items, my wedding rings, pictures of us, etc. and she told me that it would be best if I saved these items and put them away for my children and when they get older they can decide if they want them or not. I was ready to burn everything, throw things away but I am starting to see where she is coming from. I will get rid of these items out of anger without even thinking that my children may want something later on in life for their memories. Hold onto these things for your children if for nothing else.<p>Kathy

When x moved out he said he wanted me to keep the Christmas decorations because the children would live with me and they needed the decorations more than he did. Then the scumbag changed his mind and in our settlement that was what we fought over. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyway, I ended up giving him some of them - three years after he left because he didn't get them until I went through them after the settlement. So, for the most part, I got to choose which ones he got and I was a bad girl. I gave him the ones that held the most hurt for me. And the ones that were technically his.<p>As for the wedding dress. I kept mine for a long time. Then, I needed to do some healing work. And I used to sell wedding dresses and I think a family gown is very special and I also think every bride should have her own gown if she wishes. So, my marriage blew up and I didn't want my daughter to marry in that dress. But it had really unusual lace on it and I knew how to get it off so I took the lace off. And I have kept that. Then, as I removed lace, I through away the organza and lining. In bits and pieces. Then I did some more healing work and made an effigy of x and put it in a little boat and sent it down the river. And a scrap of the dress went with the effigy. That same day, I went to a friend's Native American fire circle adn I took the rest of the dress. I burned it in the fire there. And it was really nice to watch that fabric just curl up and to see the shower of sparks produced by that acetate lining. And that's what I did with my dress.

Decorations - we were supposed to get together and split them up, within 30 days of the divorce, but that didn't happen ... he claims I took most of it with me when I left. Sorry... all I have is the two ornaments I bought the kids last year so they could put SOMETHING on the tree of their own, at the place we were staying. So in a large storage tote where we used to live, all of my childhood mementos sit. He doesn't have to worry about having decorations as he's living with his parents and they have everything. I am the only one affected, as usual.<p>Dress - well of course at one point I wanted to keep my dress for a future daughter... but with the way things ended, maybe I should sell it while it is still *somewhat* stylish. My daughter is only 3 and thinks EVERY dress is gorgeous, we need the money, I sure as heck won't be using it again. ;}