Can anyone help me out there? My wife of almost 1 year told me she doesn't love me and wants a divorce. She told me that she hasn't loved me in over a year and our marriage was a mistake (she did it for our child's sake). We have been together for about 2 3/4 years and have been fighting about little things for about 2 years. She went away 2 months ago for 5 1/2 months to train for a career in law enforcement. About 1 month into her training she decided she was happier without me and told me over the phone she was leaving. She refuses to let me fly out to see her (she is on the other side of the country) and says she is sure this is what she wants. We have a wonderful 20 month old girl who we both incredibly love and I don't want to lose either my wife nor my child. I have promised her and myself that I would never take our child form her and I refuse to see a lawyer about this. I will not use my child as a bargaining chip in this problem. My wife refuses to see a counsellor or priest about our problems although I had suggested it in the past and again when all this happened. I take the blame for our martial problems because for the last two years I took everything for granted. My wife constantly told me that she was lonely but I couldn't see that because she wanted to stay home with our child. I tried many times to get her to do 1-1 things with me but it seemed that she resented the fact that I worked alot and spent alot of time volunteering in little league sports and other things. I must point out that I worked almost every Friday and Saturday night(nightclub manager). We got married last November and have only been intimate with each other 4 times in 99 last time in April. My wife told me that she couldn't be intimate with someone that she didn't get along with so I guess I didn't want to be around as much so we wouldn't fight about this or other things. I have never thought of cheating and she has told me there is no one else but I still wonder. Can anyone help me or offer some advice? I love my wife to much to just walk away but nothing I have done yet as broken through that wall she has built up around her heart. She is very determined and stubborn and I feel as though I have no chance at showing her how much she really means to me! Please help! Thanks!

Lost and confused,<P>Well it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation with alot of uncertainties that you are facing. There is no easy solution in repairing a broken marriage. Your wife seems to be very set in her decissions. You will have to let her have her space as long as she needs it. I do know that it is very important that you recieve counceling for yourself at this point. When a spouse wants out of a marriage its important to allow them space and give the whole situation time. Communication is a Key factor in restoring your marriage. When the time is right...and if your wife is willing to listen, let her know that you are very aware of the mistakes that you have made. You have failed to give the atention that she has needed. Let her feel your sincerety..that you want to turn things around and start over. Your wife needs to see that there is Hope for a new beginning in your marriage. You cannot restore this marriage alone, your wife at some point will need to be willing to give it another chance. You are at a very difficult point in your relationship with your wife. She is either going to end the marriage or find it in her heart to give it another chance. <P> My bottom line advice to you is first of all....Hang in there!!Give your wife some time. Get the issues out in the open with her as far as where you may have gone wrong in your marriage. You want to have another chance to make things better in your relationship. Your wife is the one that will need to allow hope for your marriage. You cannot do it alone.<P> Since your wife says that the whole marriage was a mistake and she hasnt loved you for a long time, well those are very harsh words for your wife to say to you. If there is to be any hope for your marriage, it will need to start over. Your wife will need to find the love in her heart once again and allow a new beginning for your family. Since you have a little girl involved its very important to keep the communication open, you need to express your concerns regarding your daughter.You do have equal share of her. You may want to get some professional advice on your rights as a father. Hang in there!!