I'm getting worried about my job interviews. I am so nervous, that I won't get a job that will bring me closer to my husband so that we can work on our marriage. I know that he has every intention of going through with the divorce, but I feel like if I am closer, if he can see me, that things can change.<p>He goes days without calling, not even to talk with the kids. I wonder who is seeing, but I am not obsessessed about it. I don't call unless I need to, and when I do talk with him, it is in a very calm, gentle way-it's surprising to him how pleasant I am with him lately.<p>If I don't get a job what will that mean? I've gone on three interviews this last week, and still have not heard anything back. I've called and followed up, and still nothing. I have an interview lined up for next week, but how will that end up?<p>I'm scared, I need support, as I can't talk to any of my friends or family about this, not until I get a job.<p>Please help!!

You know what you have to do Sebrea; give it up to God. He wants your marriage, but he can only do so much where your H is concerned. Infidelity is the one reason he gives for divorce. I've had so many people tell me that God wants my M. Unfortunately, my H does not, and he is not asking God's advice, so it's not going to work. Pray that if a job close to your H is what God wants, that he opens the doors there. I'll pray for you too...<p>MOM

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Myownme:
<strong>You know what you have to do Sebrea; give it up to God.</strong><hr></blockquote>
This is the only part of your post I can agree with, MOM.<p><strong> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>He wants your marriage, but he can only do so much where your H is concerned. Infidelity is the one reason he gives for divorce. I've had so many people tell me that God wants my M. Unfortunately, my H does not, and he is not asking God's advice, so it's not going to work. Pray that if a job close to your H is what God wants, that he opens the doors there. I'll pray for you too...
</strong><hr></blockquote>
Yes, God wants to restore Christian M's, yes, God CAN "allow" div. because of "fornication" - NOT SURE about *infidelity,* so I'm not sure this is God's Will at all. It doesn't MATTER WHAT "so many" people are saying....it doesn't MATTER what your H is choosing to do right now. Do you know positively what God wants from YOU and for your M? This is what you need to determine.<p>God wanted his servant Jonah to go to Ninevah, Jonah boarded a ship bound for Tarshish. Anyway, God arranged a gale storm, and a BIG FISH to swallow Jonah, and DEPOSIT him on the shore of the town where God TOLD him to go!!! If we do not obey God, He STILL can have His way with us!! And our WS's.<p>Sebrea,
DO NOT take your eyes off God and look at the circumstances! DO NOT believe God cannot restore your M, and it's too late. Pray. Believe. Maybe God is not bringing a job close to you yet because He's testing your faith. Just believe He will, and he will!! In His time. Not before. And you CAN'T "thwart" God's plan.<p>I don't believe, MOM, that God is so puny to be held back by OUR (meaning WS's) selfish desires from His grand plan. There's no such scripture where it says "God can only do so much....." after all, YOU don't want His interference, therefore, he can't interfere....<p>Sebrea, go to your interview next week CONFIDENT that this is where God wants you. Have a great attitude! Maybe this "stepping out in faith believing..." is what God is waiting to see. Maybe God's Will for your job situation is something totally different than you;re thinking right now.<p>I will pray for you to hear from God and walk in His way. MOM, I will also pray for you, that your WH will HEAR from God, and have his heart turned back toward your M, and AWAY from his wayward deeds.<p>Lupo

Thank you Lupo and Myownme for your comments. I do believe God and have been walking by faith not by sights (II Cor. 5:7). I know that God may be testing my faith right now, and I am up for the challenge. I will go to my interview next week confident.<p>Lupo, that is a very good point you make about infidelity not being a spiritual ground for divorce. Up until recently, my Christian brothers and sisters have been telling me that if my spouse committs adultery, I am free from the marriage and he is bound, but the scripture says that fornication, which is sex before marriage, is the only reason for a divorce. So many people are confused about this, especially Christians.<p>Continue to post here, I'd like to keep you updated on my progress, my downfalls, and my worries.<p>Thanks!

SEBREA:<p>I don't usually "hang out" here, on D/D, b/c quite frankly, most of the time, I find this board to be too depressing! To me, it feels like there's a lot of M-bashing over here. I started reading here in June, when I thought for SURE my M was over, cause my H had gone to a lawyer and they sent me div. papers. I was too overwhelmed by all the negativity, from some very hurt people here and it brought me down too much. I'm much better now (although I've been formally "served" and awaiting a court date....oh well....)<p>I can usually be found over in Prayer Requests, and GQII.....<p>I'll keep a look-out for your name and posts, tho, OK? Please remember ME and my WH in your prayers, too! We need them! He's still on "the Mothership."<p>Lupo

How do you presume, Lupo, that I think of God as puny? I never would ever classify God as puny.<p>However, God did give each of us free will, and therefore, other than bring my H to his knees, he cannot MAKE him decide to work on our M. My husband, as I said to SeBrea, is not looking to God for answers, so therefore, God can only do so much for my situation.<p>I have given my H over to God, but as I said, God cannot and will not MAKE my H choose me and the M.<p>Being realistic is not going against God's plan for me. Believe me, if I didn't feel like I was getting clear direction from God about separating from my H at this time, I would NOT be doing it.<p>I appreciate your input Lupo, because I know that it was well intentioned.<p>MOM

Mathew 19, Jesus says:
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity (this is infidelity), and marries another, commits adultery." <p>Jesus said whoever divorces his wife (or husband), EXCEPT FOR UNCHASTITY, and marries another, commits adultery.

myownme, i don't know what version of the bible you are referencing Matthew 19:9, but according to the King James version, Matthew 19:9 reads "And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" What this passage is saying is that unless a wife has fornicated, which means had sex before marriage or was not a virgin at marriage, her husband is "allowed" to divorce her, other than that, God gives no other reason for divorce-this includes adultery. Furthermore, this passage is also saying that if a husband divorces his wife she becomes an adultress-which means that, and here is where many who have conformed to the world will disagree, remarriage to anyone other than your first spouse is forbidden and would be considered an adulturous relationship.<p>I too believed that you could divorce for adultery, but as scripture clearly states, FORNICATION, is the only reason, and that can only occur before or directly after the marriage, if the husband so chooses.<p>Please go to restorem.org and order the "God can and will restore your marriage" handbook for women. It will go into detail about this subject.<p>Thank you and God Bless! I will keep you and WH in my prayers.

I read in my bible the New International Version<p>Matthew 5, verse 32: "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for MARITAL unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adultress..."<p>Also, again in Matthew 19, verse 9:"I tell you anyone who divorces his wife, except for MARITAL unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery"<p>
Please don't think that by my finding a place in the bible where Jesus says it's o.k. to divorce, that I am a proponent of divorce. However, how do you stay married (me personally) to an unbeliever who INSISTS on a divorce? When you believe you've done all you can and it still wasn't enough? I tend to believe that God understands and forgives, and does not expect me to remain unmarried for the rest of my life. <p>I think there are many interpretations of what was meant by all that was said in the bible. I don't recall seeing anything about being able to divorce your H if he physically abuses you, yet I have to believe that God would want for us to be out of those harmfull situations.<p>My prayer is that your marriage is restored. However, I don't believe that God will condemn me if my marriage isn't. <p>Take care and God Bless...<p>MOM

i know the bible can be interpreted in many different ways, but i guess the point i am trying to make is to never see divorce as an option in your marriage-trust in the Lord with all your heart, and he will deliver you from evil.<p>I GOT A JOB OFFER! i am somewhat relieved. the only thing is that the job offer is about a 2 hour round trip drive if i plan on moving back to my husbands hometown. it would be hard, because i would have to drop the kids off at 6:30 am to be to work by 7:30 and i would have to leave at about 4:45 to get them before 6:00, I would have to make arrangements with them on that though, because there are some times my husband could pick them up.<p>He called today, twice, and left messages, then he called again. I didn't recognize his voice, and asked who it was he said "Your husband" he was very interested as to what i did this weekend, i haven't called him all week, and he sounded like he wanted to be able to get in touch with me when he wanted me. I felt like he missed me. I have a job interview this weekend that is in beaumont, which would be better for me, so i will pray that that one falls through.<p>Thank you for your prayers!

OK for one minute put the 2000 year old reinterpreted book away...<p>god expects US to decide how to live this life, gave us guidlines but isnt waiting to answer every bleeding prayer for answers <my opinion mind you><p>stand up and YOU decide what makes YOU happy [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>lets NOT debate and re-debate old scriptures when it comes to every day happiness ...god created us all individually for a reason <p>if we were clones we could all follow one word with no imperfections.
keep trying hun to find a job , but PLEASE dont count on it changing things [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>get a job you like , and that you enjoy, but NOT to be closer to him , it may NOT be the end all of the relationship.<p>work on you YOU you now and you know what? it may take a few years but , hopefully you will find the happiness and strength within your self to go on alone <if need be><p>and happiness from within is the most powerful [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
you will become more attractive to your self and others as you wont be needy ..a very good thing ..and POWERFUL!!!!!!!<p>pray but dont beg ...<p>be strong for your own life and all will be good [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>be well

<strong>How do you presume, Lupo, that I think of God as puny? </strong>
MOM,
When you say that God "can only do so much..." it gives me a vision of a puny god who sits wringing hands and whining, "Oh, if ONLY they would let me help....I could try to fix things....."
No, I don't see God, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing, as being THAT impotent that a mere man could thwart God's perfect plan. <p><strong>God did give each of us free will, and therefore, other than bring my H to his knees, he cannot MAKE him decide to work on our M. </strong>
What makes you think God CANNOT "bring your H to his knees"??? This is the kind of statement that makes me see your god as "puny." Either God can do all He wishes with our lives, or He can't. While I think it's true that we have free will, I also think we can only "hang ourselves" so long, before God will "reel us in" again, so we don't get too far afield. It IS true that some people never "get it" - but that's where I believe (my OWN beliefs) that our prayers for our WS make the difference in whether God will allow them to continue in their waywardness (gosh! I hope that's a word).<p>MOM, I certainly cannot presume to tell you what you are hearing from God. I know what I am hearing for my M from God, and I assumed Sebrea wanted that type of encouragement, too. My comments certainly were only "well-intentioned" and nothing else was intended. Sorry if I offended.<p>Soulmate, your "2000 year-old reinterpreted book" ISN'T my Bible, so thanks for your comments, but No Thanks!. There is a God, there IS a creator, and one day we WILL all stand before Him and give an account. I only have to account for myself, as do each of us. None of us has it perfectly right, so I can only hope you KNOW, truly KNOW, you have it "right" before that day. I pray I do.<p>God Bless,
Lupo

i wish not to offend or to down play gods role, but only to say that <in MY opinion mind you > he does not controll peoples lives in the everyday sence.<p>each person must decide to what degree they believe and how much they believe god can answer all their every day woes , i tend to think he WANTS us to deal with earthly life and thats why he set down some basic rules...<p>i think decisions on earth having to do with individuals problems/ challenges are ours to solve, he gave us brains for a reason ...and passions compassions ...etc.<p>yes look to your faith if that strengthens you, but do not expect god to walk in with all the answers / souloutions on a silver platter, thats not his / her job , now is it?<p>i have nothing against religion , i too have my beliefs , but i feel sad when people look to god for their worldy troubles. these are ours , we own them , and only we can fix them<p>how we do it will be how we are judged later [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>how we treat people and our challenges will be our judgment [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>again i am NOT anti religion , but begging for answers isnt going to change realities..sorry<p>look for them in your heart and mind , thats why he put them there , for us to use [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]