Hey guys and gals, I really need your help. I'm also posting this in Other Topics.<P>We received the motion by mail...H's ex has filed for change of custody of 9 yr. old son. By agreement in June, H was/is primary residential custodian, and we moved 30 miles to larger town where we both work. (Ex still lives in that smaller town.) Kids are registered in school...doing well. Step-son has gone from failing 3rd grade and truancy charges issued while in Ex's primary care, to being tested HERE and entering 4th grade with us. His grades are now average and climbing. <P>If she gets custody changed, step-son will have to start a new school in the smaller town (not return to original school--that was based on where WE lived). And she states this is in his best interests???<P>We will be fighting the custody change. Fortunately, I work for a law firm...otherwise we couldn't afford it. Her wealthy family is backing her, at least for now. She has been neglectful and abusive toward stepson in the past...but of course, being 9, he loves her, and we do encourage that. We know under circumstances, he is much better off being with us the majority of time and seeing her twice a month. Her paperwork puts everything in a bad light for H (of course). But I still think evidence of poor grades, etc. will be enough, and more besides. <P>The problem is....tonight, step-son has football practice which begins at 6:00...the time she picks him up. She would not sign a written visitation agreement, but we operate as if it is in effect. Last night at the semi-final game, she told step-son she would see him "after practice," at 8:00. Under the visitation agreement, it says if the other spouse is more than half an hour late, we do not have to grant her visitation for that weekend (but give her one extra day later within a 30 day period). <P>Should we enforce no visitation this weekend? The motion for hearing will be heard next week. We worry what manipulations she will use on step-son this weekend. This is so difficult. We don't want to upset him, but worry far more about the future. <P>If she gets him, we're sure her habits will not change--lots of babysitters, reports of unhappiness building, while she happily uses child support for herself. We hadn't asked HER for child support under this change of custody at this point. We were just glad to get him out of that bad situation and see his progress. While we fight the custody change, we WILL be asking for child support also.<P>I am just SO mad, and upset. H will be taking off work tonight to be there, in case we decide to block visitation. It could get nasty.<P>So do we block? Keep step-son home from practice? Drive around instead? Or just prepare step-son as best we can and let him go? He's a very sweet child. I hate to see him go through this. Will want to see mom, but will understand if dad says no, not this weekend.<P>What to do???? Help. (She's VERY manipulative.)

I'm not sure exactly what the question is, but I would say don't start a "visitation war" right now. If it's her weekend to see the child, let her see the child. If she is late, then you may feel you have a right to say something, but really, why would you have a right to (punish) her by withholding visitation for a week or two? Besides, the last thing you need is for her to add "denied access" to her grievance at this point.<P>Other than that you are going to have to let the judge decide. The fact that your stepson is in school and that your husband has had primary care for some time should weigh in your favor. I think most judges are used to having the plaintiff in a case like this hurl all kinds of personal insults against the defendant.<BR>

Thanks for responding, Nonplused.<P>I didn't make up that rule, it's a suggested guideline by the local courts to impede this situation from happening regularly (late pickup). So, it IS within our rights to delay a visitation.<P>I was a good girl. Ugh. See answers to posts in Infidelity section for more info. if you're interested. I'd love to hear additional thoughts.<P>And you're right...I'm sure judges have seen it all. Quite a pity, actually.