My stbxh is taking my two children (2 & 5)out of town tonight and I just found out that this ow he has told me is a friend will be going with them. I found out recently that he is dating her now. The last time he had the children she was with him too. That was when I knew something was up. How do you deal with this? I am very upset, angry and broken-hearted. We have been separated since August 2001. He walked out, said he wasn't happy and didn't love me anymore. He said that he and this ow have been friends for a few months before he left me and the kids and that he talked to her alot about his problems. He filed for divorce and the papers haven't even made it to the courts yet. How can he do this? I have lost all respect for him. The children, how can he do this to them? They are so young and impressionable. What is he teaching them? I am trying so hard not to be bitter, especially towards this ow. I have no respect for this ow at all. I wasn't ready for all of this. I don't want my stbxh back in my life, he has too many problems that he is refusing to deal with and I can't live with all of that anymore. It still hurts, the trust that I had in him, what was left when he walked out on his family, has practically been obliterated since this newest incident.<p>I am really trying to hang in there. Any advice?<p>Thanks,
Kathy

(((Kathy)))<p>Heck I'm 4 months post-divorce and it still gets under my skin because my X did that on Thanksgiving. My only saving grace is that my children are older (12, 9, & 6) and atleast the 12yo has expressed to me her disappointment in her mom's behavior.<p>So to me it boils down to being the best parent you can and feel secure in the fact that your children will see what's going on.<p>Not much else to offer but hang in there.<p>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers from Kansas

Dear AM,<p>My heart goes out to you, I know your pain and suffering. My ex walked out last November saying the samething-thank GOD we did not have kids. Thru it all he showed no signs of coming back and showed how much of an A$$ he was. I did plan A for 2 months than went to plan B in a hurry-because they hid so I had no choice. Even though it hurts like hell and I felt humilated for being last to know about this "friend" I have gone on. The d was final in June. You will make it. Although I do not stand behind all of the concepts MB has I do lurk and try to help. Please look into counseling for you and your children MB principles seem to forget how this effects children-In Plan A people are so busy trying to get the spouse back that they forget about the children-my parents did this and thus I am in counseling now...if you think it is over-file-bring it up in court that you do not want your children subject to seeing their dad cheat on their mom. I mean want kind of a parent is he to show the children that this is okay-they may repeat his same mistakes in the future-i.e. my ex did this.. You are a strong woman and my heart goes out to you...

<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>

Hi abandoned mom, have the courts stop the nonsense. Be angry and bitter at the ow all you want... I think it is hard not to be, you can pray for her.. I did muster that... and even mentioned to my kids we would pray for her as she was hurting us. and must be a hurting individul to participate in destroying our family.... Anyway... I would use reasonable legal measures to protect the interests of the children... your WH is in a fog and does not understand how he is harming kids... no judge will allow what he is doing to kids... A judge will order no overnight visits with another woman while you are married amd may even be able to keep him from overnight visits with another woman until he remarries if he does.. HA! SO there, if he breaks this ruling by the court, it will be contempt and he will lose his rights..<p>My H supposedly stopped seeing OW, she broke it off amd went back to her H,what a winner. ANyway... I am glad that this worry is out of picture right now. You are the mother of your children and you have a duty to protect them.. remember if you do not.... it could eventually be used against you if you do not do the right thing by your children.<p>I know what you are going through.. my H took my kids, 3 and 9 to spend night at ow's house and out for a day with her, etc.... to a bar, playing darts, etc... really classy girl... a barfly that plays darts!!!<p>Anyway... the two of them.. are sorry now... I really got upset and things really got crzy 0- i went to the bar where they both were (did not know that would be there) went temporarily insane and went after OW...now there are pending assault charges against me.. and my spouse claims I also assaulted him so they both filed against me... what winners! <p>Whata rollercoater... after that she broke it off,,, hey maybe she didn't like that? I do feel bad, and wish it had not happended, tbut it did...<p>
GO for it! with your legal rights! protect your babies! I am sorry he is doing this to you and those precious children.<p>L [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]