<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>

Mylife, I feel for you. I have definitely noticed that WH FOO issues really affect me, my family unit with WH and our children. My H unfortunately has a terrible family background, his father has been married 4x. His mother abandoned him as a baby and he was raised by a strepmother... he is an alcoholic as his Dad and granddad and I think maybe even great- granddad was recovering alcoholic... <p>his family is from the south, chavanistic, and not completely respectful of women.. though they act like they are... in the beginning... wining, dining, promising - all the gentlemen stuff...<p>Anyway.. I am so made at y husband's father I cannot see straight... Also so mad everytuime OW comes up, even though supposedly they are not seeing each other for now...<p>Also, I was in a brief marriage 10+ yrs ago... only for 10 mnths. and my X had a controlling mother who would not let go of her son... he moved in with her and our chances of working things out were none... basically she never wanted her baby to get married anyway...<p>I know that kind of mother in law and I feel for you.. that woman half way if not completely ruined our marriage... for every problem he ran to mommy... how sickening of a grown man!!!!! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>But this time my Father in law... has dared to compare me to him.. oh well, you are about to be divorced 2x, so I guess you are like me.. I never wanted the divorces , they just happended to me.. funny I know of him destorying his family with the kids... my H and his sister... my sister in law.. because my father in law cheated and left his then wife for another woman... GO FIGURE>>>!!<p>Of course my H sd he never wanted a divorce when we married and he did not want that kind of life for the 2 of us... he certainly is seeing things differently lately.<p>Guess he just flipped.. My marriage counselor that is about to see me and my H says... often we repeat those patterns of our parents subconsciously... even if it is the last thing we would mean to do!
I feel for you - I will pray for you... DO you already have kids, or just one on the way... BTW that is even worse if you are pregnant, and I know you alreadyknow it! <p>
keep your strength
Lisa [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Hello Mylife,
I am so sorry to read abt your situation.
Children learn what they live?
With my h, it was/is a family tradition to have lovers....only wish I had known this before I married the man! Father, one sister, all 5 brothers, and likely some they don't tell me. They support each other, lie for each other, and the legacy continues. Somehow most of the brothers managed to find wives that tolerate it. My h did not.
I do think much of the behavior exhibited in H's family is very disrespectful toward women. They use and abuse.
I just hope I have raised my kids to know better?
I have been lucky with MIL-she is wonderful. Lovely, strong, independent woman that had the sense to divorce!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]