We have his kids every week end and every week end WE end up in a BIG fight over what I cook or say to them or what they tell their mom i said. Since marriage I have tried to keep out of the way, do what they want, go away for the week end. But nothing seems to work. there are so many problems.!!! <BR>Today I told him to cook since they won't eat my food. He has been fuming at me all day. I tried to apoligize several times but did n't do any good He acts like he hates me.<BR>how can I get along with my Husband who I love deeply, his kids and X??

Oh gosh I feel so bad for you. I have a stepdaughter but no problems with her realy. She is a sweet girl and also the same age as my own daughter. I met her when she was five, She just turned 13. But when her dad was going to bring her to meet me I just decided that it had to work between us,I wasn't sure how I would handle being a stepmom or even if I could.But knew if I wanted to marry this man I had to give a relationship with his daughter a darn good try. So I was just who I am, didn't try to inpress her or be phony, I tried my best to just treat her the same as I treat my own daughter.(you didn't mention if you have children) At first when she was with us it seemed she didn't like anything I cooked, and I found that upsetting and took it a little personal(nobody knows this) but then decided I should just ask her what she likes and have her show me how her mom makes it. That makes her feel good and I learn something too. Through the years I have discovered that she does like the things she said she didn't like to eat before, I guess she was testing me. But I don't mention it I just cook what I cook. Now at the age she is if she doesn't like something she has the right and capability to fix something for herself and she has to clean it up when she's done . it works very well. Now thats enough of my happy story, Tell me more of your situation. You are a woman of few words. How many kids are there, whats their age and what in the world are you leaving on the weekend for? How can you improve on the relationshgip if you're not there? I know there are books in the library too that if you will read them you will learn how to win a stepchilds love and respect. How old are you anyway? I am 41 and thinking that maybe maturity has a little something to do with the difficulty. Read books, learn to love yourself and then how dare somebody not to love you too. And get your hubby to read this site.Improve the relationship you have with him first, everything else will come along. Hope I didn't offend.<BR> Sincerely,<BR> Shawna <P>------------------<BR><P>

thanks Shawna<BR>wish I had someone to just talk to about it. If I talk to Husband (Pete) he thinks I'm complaining.<BR>My mother just says "DO this or DO that!" I'm 49 have singly(for 10years) reared 5 kids. 3 are doing great one is in trouble youngest daughter in college but living with creep. Since my kids didn't turn out well I can't say anything about how to raise his daughter and step son. <BR> It is a messed up family. X was married to Pete had Paul's kid then divorced Pete to marry Paul. So sends us both kids every weekend. I am not step mom to both only daughter. I DO NOT want to ruin the relationship with his daughter so I have tried leaving weekends. they get a long great then but I feel left out.<BR>Kids go home tell Mom every thing that goes on if she doesn't like something she calls Pete and lets him have it with kids said R did or didn't do something.. He comes to me did you ....... round and round we go.<BR>thanks for listening. Ron