I have been married 3 years and have not had sex for the last two. He says that he has no sex drive any more but even when he did it was not that great....I have tried oral stimulation, manual stimulation, everything....finally I just gave up....we don't even sleep in the same bed. I am a very sexual person and need to be touched (among other things) but he doesn't seem to think it is important.<P>Any ideas on what to do?

Candicane,<P>I have noticed your posts on several boards most dealing with this issue (sexless marriage). There was one post (under negotiating in marriage)where you admitted to being a manipulator rather then a negotiator. You said you found it was a faster way to get what you wanted. Well guess what? Your H has control over one thing that is driving you nuts. Chances are this is his response to being manipulated by you. This one thing he can control or at least keep from you. He has found substitutes with masterbation and porn as you have stated on another board. You are both fighting for control and are both fighting dirty. You need to both get into couseling ASAP if you hope to salvage your marriage. Marriage is about compromise (read negotiation) not control. By the way there would be nothing that would pour cold water on my sex drive faster then a wife that was controling.

Hi all,<P>I would like to suggest a good book for anyone reading here.<P>It is called Counter-dependency: The flight from intimacy.<P>You can read more about it at <A HREF="http://www.weinholds.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weinholds.org/</A> <P>Give it a read, you won't regret it.<P>Hugz and prayers,<BR>Thoughtful (Deb)