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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 105
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 105 |
Sorry this has nothing to do with my WS. What I miss more than anything in the world is a family, you see my 13 yr marriage did not allow me any children (WS did not want any children). I was too involved in the situation to make a change until it seemed too late. Knowing all along that what I truly wanted was a loving husband and a family, i.e. children. But stupid, co-dependent me, I thought I can change this man, he is good and he will be a wonderful father once he sees the value in family life. Instead he pushed it away with all his might. I am so moved by readinging Empty Shell's posts about his efforts to communicate with his child, and the major frustration in this effort. I can strangely relate to. I have no child to communicate with, but there is major frustration that there is NO child to communicate with, only mine is so final. <p>And although this is not the only reason that my xH and I are no longer together (other than the xow) it certainly is the one determining factor that we will never be a couple again. Because even though I will be past the child bearing age in a few years, it will always be a factor between us. <p>Sorry this has absolutely nothing to do with Marriage Building, but I have come to love you all and feel that this is my "extended" family, even though all I do is lurk and ocassionally post. I needed to do a bit of venting. It certainly doesn't sound like A Stronger Me but right now I'm hurting because the one thing I hope for most in the world seems the farthest from my grasp, ...a child...<p>My heart prays for you Empty Shell, I know you love your child too.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 300 |
That was a really moving post, and I'm so sorry for the loss that you feel. I know of other women whose husbands don't want children either, and it really does hurt! <p>Have you ever thought about volunteering your time with a program that pairs up adults and kids -like a big buddy program? Or working with an adoption agency to take care of children before they are placed in a home? It sounds like you could really benefit some needy children out there who are deparately seeking companionship of a loving caring adult. There are alot of ways that you could be a great mother, friend, role model for some deserving children out there. Just a thought. K
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 116
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 116 |
When i was reading your post it made my heart go out to you..I'm on the opposite end..I have a 5month old little boy..MY stbx husband basically abandoned us and moved to another state just 2weeks before our son was born..He has only seen him one time since and basically wants nothing to do with him..It hurts me to look at my son at times and realize i was part blame in all this i feel i ended up being selfish to keep him and raise him without a father..I think all children need both parents..And i was forced to have to move back home where...They can be emotionally abusive at times..My heart hurts so bad at times just so scared that i will never make enough to get out on my own..ANd my son will be raised with all the abuse like i was..I'm sorry you didn't have any children..And i don't want to sound unthankful but i think my situation would of been alot better if my little one wasn't here being raised with what i feel i'm forced to raise him in..sorry but it really hurts that i'm basically forced to raise my child the way i am now..
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