I just registered with this site this evening after being referred by a dear friend.
Here's my story, in a nutshell:
Met my husband in Jan '96, dated 3 1/2 years, married August '99. Marriage had problems from the beginning. Financial irresponsibility on his part, to the point of being unable to pay bills because he's out buying ... whatever! After only 6 months of marriage I discover he is having internet 'sex' chatting with LOCAL girls from our town. Seek counselling from our pastor who admonishes him to put these things behind him and lead his family. Twice I came home from work early on one of his days off only to find him completely drunk in the middle of the morning - we don't keep alcohol in our home.
Fast forward to June of this year. He no longer uses the internet unsupervised, as he agrees the temptation is unacceptable, but many of the other problems remain. One evening, he breaks down and tells me that he is addicted to over-the-counter meds and has been shoplifting them daily. Okay, I discover my husband has been an addict since BEFORE I met him. This is a tough pill to swallow (bad humor, I know) but I stand by him as he begins to attend a Recovery group. 3 months clean, and in November he has what I can't rightly call a relapse, because it went on for weeks. He quit trying, and began using again. I asked him to move out until he got it under control again, which he understood and complied with, all the while expressing his undying love and devotion to myself and my daughter (from a youthful indiscretion), and telling me he is going to work hard and do everything to come home soon.
Fast forward to Friday night. We're talking on the phone and I can hear he's been using. He denies it, I tell him I know he's lying, he caves in and admits it. Asks what he can do RIGHT NOW. I tell him, start at the beginning, and tell me EVERYTHING that you're still hiding from me.
So he does.
When we were engaged, he was having sex with someone else. A year after we married, he had sex with a 15 year old girl. Another woman somewhere in there, and after I asked him to move out, as he was expressing his undying love and devotion, he had another raunchy one night stand with a perfect stranger.
This man I married, his entire life is a lie. His family is shocked, everyone that knows him is baffled. Our entire marriage was a sham, and I don't know why he married me. But that doesn't matter. What matters is, I am moving on with life. Six years, I gave to this man, and my poor child, that's 2/3 of her life! He lied to me every day he ever knew me, and there is no way trust can ever be rebuilt after a hurt like that.
I hope I don't need to say, divorce is in our future. It has only been 3 days since the discovery of this information, so the wheels are not yet turning, but I am calling some attorneys that I have been given good referrals of.<p>I guess that was just an introduction... Hi, that's me and my situation.
