ok h and i have been separated for 10 months now. he is living w ow. they also work together. ok he was living w her from feb.until sept. then he came back home from sept till the end of oct. at the time ow did not know he was here. she thought he was at his aunt's house <p>he was home for 6wks and at that time was still with ow. tried to pretend it was over but i knew it wasn't. he then came out and said he only came back to prove a point to his family. (funny though he doesn't even keep in contact w his family) i speak and see them more than he does???so what was he trying to prove?(just a lie) now he is back living w ow. i was very hurt because he proved nothing to his family and only hurt my daughter and me. family was not affected by his stupidity. <p>now we are not speaking well i just stay away from him no calls emails nothing. he hasn't seen or spoken to our daughter since 11/20 when he came to give her bday gift. he has called but never reaches her b/c he calls when no one is home he could call her afterschool but acts like he is so busy and only has free time when we are on our way home and leaves messages on answering machine. <p>won't dare call from ow house.now he calls once a wk for the past couple of wks to leave messages.first he need some stuff he left here(stuff he doesn't really use/need)then he would call to tell daugther he loves her.then he was questioning cost of divorce and how much he needed to give me to get things rolling. (i emailed him back the info) then today he said he wanted to see what i was getting daughter for xmas so we didn't get the same stuff meanwhile i would never get the stuff he has in mind and he knows that.<p>why not first of all see what she wants instead of telling me what you are getting. he hasn't spoken to her so he has no idea what she really wants. he is always coming with gifts eg bday and now xmas just so ow could think he some wonderful great caring dad. meanwhile he has yet to give child support money for the last three months. and hasn't seen his daughter or spoken to her in three wks and he will show right b-4 xmas to play dad the wonderful baring gifts. (he is so fake)<p>why does he act like such a crazy man?and he says how marriage wasn't what he wanted. but yet is living full time w ow and working together.so what is that a commitment? or what? they spend each day together and the wkends so what does that say?
meanwhile he doesn't even call his child on the wkend or in the evening from ow home maybe he feels embarassed? doesn't question school or anything. <p>what kind of family or commitment is he showing our child? and if home is the first teacher what is he teaching her<p>pls help i am feeling upset and hurt especially knowing he will w ow to buy presents for our child
he just doesn't get it
divorce is right around the corner will start papers after the holidays.
i married a lost cause and he is just living it up with ow. what a lost cause i don't even know why it hurts so much but it does maybe cause we spent 10 yrs together and this is all he has to show selfishness,lack of respect and totally a lost soul

just wanted to bump myself up

{{{{{{{{{{leftalone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>Sorry you are here. Are you in individual counseling? You have a lot on your plate and a lot to work through. You are not alone. We can all relate to how you feel...Although that doesn't ease your pain.<p>The way he is acting is typical WS "fog" behavior which makes no sense to people who think rationally. All the selfishness and irresponsibility. <p>I saw a good link Redhat referenced I will see if I can point you to that link. Give me a minute.

Here is the link I was talking about: <p>WAT's Quick Start Guidelines for Betrayed Spouses

Well that link didn't work. Here is was I was attempting to point to: <p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000940

lonely,<p>i know you are hurt by your husband's actions, but instead of being angry with him, which only makes you more upset and stressed, trying looking at him as a poor,lost soul who knows not what he is doing.<p>Don't you doubt for one minute that your husband is not ashamed of what he is doing, or even guilty. Satan has gotten control of his life right now, and all you can do is pray for him.<p>Do not contest the divorce, tell him whatever he wants you already agree to it. From now on, be a kind and gentle spirited wife. Spend time with your daughter, and assure her that her Dad loves her. Invite your husband to do things with you and your daughter, but don't pressure him for anything. Right now everything you do or say to your husband, and remember that is YOUR HUSBAND, is crucial-his ego is fragile and if you ever argue, degrade, or insult him you will be hindering your chances of marital reconciliation.<p>The OW makes it hard, but pray for her "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" Luke 6:27-28. When you start looking at your situation the way Christ would, you'll feel a lot better.<p>Go to a website called restorem.org, it will further expound on how God can and will restore your marriage.<p>God bless you and don't forget to PRAY!!