I am new here and will probably be posting often. First I would like to explain my situation. I was in a relationship for 1 1/2 years. During our time together I was hurting inside and terrified of love. I did not even relize this until our relationship was over. The women I was involved with was DEEPLY in love with me. The type of person that would do anything for me and stand by me in any situation. Before our relationship I was involved with another women who I was DEEPLY in love with. To make a long story short our relationship ended and all the hurt and pain from that relationship caused me to be terrified of love. When the current relationship I was in started I thought I was ready seeing as alot of time had passed and I thought I would be ok in a relationship. I wasnt being honest with myself. The women I was involved with was VERY loving almost so much it was overwhelming. Considering my fear of love that I was unaware of at the time everytime she would show me love or speak of us I would push her away or verbally abuse her. I hate myself everyday for what I did. Please keep in mind I am not a verbally abusive person. I have never done anything like this in any other relationships I was involved in. I had never been afraid of love before. My mistake was not relizing that I truly did love her more than any women I had ever been with and the reason I was treating her this way is because of my fear. During the last 3 months of our relationship we found out she was pregnant. The pregnancy was a shock to the both of us because birth control was being used. I think the pregnancy also was a sign for her to get out because I am sure she knew that being in a relationship with me having the problems we did was not healty for any of us and I feel the same way now. After she left me I have had alot of time to think and alot of time to talk with others and relize what and why I did what I did. I relized after it was over that I really did love her with all of my soul. We havent spoken for 2 months because she is very angry with me right now and is probably trying to move on with her life. I have made a promise to myself to fight for our relationship and be a LOVING person again. I want the chance to love her the way I should of but my chance may be lost. I offered counseling for the two of us during the end and offered to go to anger managment classes and whatever it would take to save our relationship but in away im glad we had this time apart to think. Even though our relationship may not have a chance I still am going to keep hope and do nothing but love her 100%....