I am in so much pain. Ive been with stbx for 11/2 years. He has been verbally abusive. I asked him to get counseling with me, and each time he has refused. Several months ago he pushed me because he did not like the dress pants that I was wearing to church. Recently, he squezzed my arm so hard that I had to go to the ER. I could not use my arm for a week. I asked him again to get help or I will have to leave. He told me to leave. <p>I found a note that he sent to his "friend" yesterday claiming how much he loved her. I am in so much pain, I am scared and need advice on how to get through this emotional truma. I helped get him on his feet, and this is what I get.<p>Please help.

You helped him to his feet... When you do something for some one you love are you suppost to get expect something in return? You do or did hwat you did out of love... or just kindness... that is who you are.... you know your h. is not like you why must you beat yourself up on him not being like you...<p>YOU KNOW HE IS NOT kind!!!<p>You do what you need to do for yourself... not what you are going to get in return, that make you who you are, a speciel, sweet, kind, selfless person and all those are wonderful quallities, don't go down to his level!!!!<p>You will know when you have had enought... keep you chin up, and know you will have NO regrets when all is said and done, (staying together or divorce)<p>You have the power in you, reach down have a good talk to yourself, and do what you need to do, what ever that may be!!!!
Great Luck to you

I know you've seen it because I saw your post, but re-read this thread started by Helga if you would.<p>I and others here have been through emotional, physical, mental, and verbal abuse from spouses, parents, etc.<p>You can email me if you like, but it would help more people and give others a chance to offer help if we keep the conversation on the board, okay?<p>Stay safe.

Thank you all for your reply. <p>Sam, thank you for your answer. It's not that I feel he owes me because I helped him out. You're right, I would do that for anyone who needed me. I just feel like why am I being treated like I did something wrong to him. All I ever did was try to be loving, but even when I told him he hurt me, he did not even try to appologize. I haven't heard from him since I left on the 5th.<p>It just hard. I thought this was suppose to be forever. Not just a "one year contract".

Glad to hear he is not bothering you, <p>I know it is hard to keep giving, and when you tell him your needs, he laughs in your face,<p>Well you are who you are and you are where you are, people make the wrong dissions all the time <p>Just don't repeat them, for our past makes us who we are to day