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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2 |
Hi all, Having a problem. My wife and I are working on "honesty and communication" and I just find out about and old "fling" she used to have with a friend back before we were married. It was actually before we even started dating. I got extremely jealous and mad and I know I shouldn't be because this happened before we even became an item. I'm an extremely jealous man and this kind of put me over the edge. Any ideas on how to deal with this issue?
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 75
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 75 |
Garz,<BR>Gosh, I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know but jealousy is such a CANCER in a relationship. It is my belief that every negative emotion is rooted in fear, so what is it that you fear? That she will leave, that you won't measure up to past loves? She chose YOU. It's a little late for this now, but my husband and I are all for honesty and communication too, but there are some things we believe are just as well left unsaid -- like past loves that have nothing to do with us now.
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
garz:<P>I suggest that you read the Harley books "Give and Take" and "Lovebusters".<P>You and your wife should absolutely work on total honesty. It's essential. In essence, you'll never have another reason to be jealous again because you will encourage your wife to discuss any issue with you that you feel is threatening. And you'll learn to deal with these in a "win-win" fashion (the Policy of Joint Agreement).<P>But, it's essential that you learn to respond to honesty without lovebusters. Angry outbursts. Disrespectful judgements. Selfish demands. All parts of "jealousy". If you can't learn to deal with this productively on your own (with the help of these and other books), I'd suggest that you take a class in anger management.
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 4 |
Sorry garz!!!! I dont feel for you. She kept shopping till she found you! and WHO did she keep? YOU! They should feel jealous of you......not you of them. Think about it you won her they lost.....( now throw your chest out a little ) you were the keeper they were thrown back into the pond (throw chest out a little more) See out this works ....!? YOU THE MAN DUDE! THE BOYS WERE REJECTED.....YOU THE MAN THAT GOT THE PRIZE!<P>Now that you know all this good stuff about yourself.....and your head is bigger lol the cure for the head problem is easy....just go buy a new hat and everything is cool now ...... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406 |
Did you have any previous "flings" before you were married?
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