Hey Jacky,<p>I'd like to get your e-mail address so I could ask you something about your H and the boundaries you are trying to establish and maintain.<p>I hate to re-live this topic again in this forum because I so poorly followed the advice of most responders the last go round. <p>As you know, I'm a 2 time plan B failure and it is currently killing me. <p>I know you are going through this struggle right now and I hope you will be able to help me.<p>I had your address but deleted it somehow. <p>Thanks for your help.<p>
Lynn - lynndkil@aol.com

Thanks Jacky,<p>I'll try to write later. I'm so mad right now I can't hardly type. I just got a call from my mother in law saying that H had invited them all out to eat to meet the whore and her kid. Even invited his sister, BIL and their kids and paid for the whole meal.<p>He seems to have money rolling everywhere but to me. I really hate that SOB right now. Was this the sign I needed to do a solid plan B? I guess so . I called his voice mail and told him that I would call the police if he came to my house other than for visitation. I thanked him for doing something that truly showed his feelings for me. Total disrespect and I can no longer tolerate it. I hate him. <p>I'll write later when I've calmed down. <p>So much for getting off my meds. I need a double dose now. Anger is a powerful emotion and I'm tired of fighting it.<p>Lynn

Hi Lynn, <p>You didn't write yet, I am wondering if you are okay?<p>I am thinking of you......hang in there.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Jacky,<p>I suppose anger is a really strong emotion because 3 hours of sleep, a bottle of wine and venting for hours hasn't helped relieve any of it. <p>For once, I'm not regretting what I said to him on his voice mail. <p>I feel betrayed by my in-laws. They were all saying how she would not be welcome around them until after the divorce, that they still loved me and supported me...<p>But the first opportunity to go and eat with her, they jump on it. I know I have no control over them and what they do or who they see but they piss me off being so hypocritical. <p>What purpose did it serve for MIL to call me last night and tell me about going out and meeting her? I can't figure out if they were just trying to justify their actions because they knew they shouldn't be going along with H's attempts to act single when he is not. I just don't get it. It is as if she enjoyed pouring salt in my wounds. H has the kids this weekend. If she felt the need to confess, why not wait til Sunday so she didn't ruin my entire weekend.<p>I'm flying across the country to Iowa on Sunday for a work trip that has recently taken a personal turn that I'm looking forward too.<p>That means I'll be 5 days without seeing kids for other than a few moments Sun morning when H is supposed to bring them by to get dressed for church. OW smokes like a train. Not that I have anything against smokers. I hang with the smokers at work because that's where all the best scoop is but my son has a tendency to get croup and asthma attacks and D hates coming home smelling like an ashtray. D wanted to leave her church clothes here and come by to change Sun morning. She is singing Sunday morning in church. I'll miss it because I have to be at the airport but they will tape it for me. <p>
I need to direct some of this anger towards cleaning my house. My dad and his wife are coming here for Christmas on Wed next week. I don't get home until tuesday evening so things have to be at least livable in the living room and kitchen. <p>I orginally had planned to ask you about how it made you feel to hang up on H when he called or to avoid contact because I just couldn't do it. However, I think the cake has been iced, so to speak. <p>His parents wanted to see kids on Christmas Eve and I had sort of agreed but that was really messing up my schedule. I think I'll stick now to the judges order and let him pick them up christmas night for 3 days. Unfortunately that runs into his visitation weekend so I won't see them from Tues night to the following Sunday. That will be hard but I'll have a lot of decorations to take down, old toys to clean out, etc. I have so many projects to take care of. I am starting to think about selling this house and getting out of this town. There is nothing for me here now anyway. <p>How did moving the kids schools go for you? I dread the idea...<p>Will check in as I clean up from time to time.<p>Thanks so much for listening. <p>PP

Hey PP...<p>Don't worry about the rest of us... we're human too! We hear lots of great advice but we can't be expected to perform perfectly! <p>I understand if you want to talk with Jacky offline, that's cool. But don't underestimate the rest of us... we care and know that no one does a flawless Plan A or Plan B! <p>Hang in there... don't worry about what others think! People pleasing is just something that has a hold on ya... you're called to be free! Free to be you, warts and all!<p>I mean you hear it from all of us! The goods, bads and uglies!<p>Okay, just didn't want you to feel distanced from us...<p>Though I say this and I'm not regularly on the boards anymore... I still check in once in a while.<p>Hang in there!<p>Warmly,
Nicole