I have a question for everyeone.<p>
My wife is at the beginning of an AFFAIR (only online with an old high school freind she hasn't seen in 15 years until recently). He is 400+ miles away. <p>Well, to make a long story short, I caught them (e-mails) and fired off an e-mail to him and her letting them both know I knew. Well, I knew where he works and I even have come across his CELL phone number and his work number. I haven't got his home phone yet and have tried calling information. He has a live in girlfriend that as of this writing doesn't know (according to my wife), would it be in my best interest to obtain his home phone number and inform her of this. They have a 2 year old daughter, and I don't want to see another family busted up over this.<p>My wife is a Bi-Polar and is cycling (well, I say she is, but according to her therapists she isn't....well, that is what she tells me he said). She is leaving on Saturday to visit her mother and in turn, spend time with him. My mother-l`in-law just so happens to live in the area where he lives. I have made my mother-in-law of her daughters behavior and she can't believe it...again. Her mother is someone you don't want to mess with. So, I am hopping she will get involved and make it hard for her to see him. <p>Is this selfish?. I know it may seem like I am being childish, but if you know Bi-Polars then you know what a cycle will do. In a few months, it will pass and she will be fine. I want to get into counseling but she doesn't.....yet!<p>My question is: I know where he works, I have his numbers, should I confront him and let him know what I think. My wife will def. get mad if I do, but I feel it is my duty as a loving husband to prevent this. I think what would she be doing if the show was on the other foot?.....she would be cat fighting for me. <p>Let me know what you my freinds are thinking!<p>
Keith

What ever you do GOOD or BAD will come back to you 10 fold GOOD or BAD. <p>I would recomend doing good.. Its so much better down the road.<p>Go to counsuling, get help for YOU.. Take care of the kids. Pratice MB principles. <p>I'm remended of the movie "The color purple" were Whoopie puts the mojo hand out at Danny Glover and says what ever you do will come back 10X.. <p>Take the high road!!<p>Tex.

Tex,<p>I guess the problem I am having is that she is thumbing her nose at me in our house and in front of the kids carrying on like this. In her eyes, she isn't doing anything bad, I was the one that brought this all on. This is what angers me. She says "leave him alone, this has nothing to do with him". Excuse me, but it has everything to do with him.<p>[ December 18, 2001: Message edited by: defcon888 ]</p>

Childish people do childish things. Her thumbing her nose at you should mean nothing to you other than she may have gotten something free from her a facial cavity.. <p>I absolutly understand were you are coming from, the frustration of not getting what YOU want leads to the anger that YOU are feeling.. My advise is and has been in the past.. WORK ON YOURSELF. <p>Defcon,, Its the fog, dude. <p>Another sugestion.. Start a list of your strengths. It doesn't matter which order they are in and it doesn't matter what they are. Keep the list in your wallet. If you think of another add it to the list. I found that this helped me take my mind off of the X and I began to focus on me. It got to the point were I could stand alot of ridicule from her because I knew it didn't matter.. She was being a child.. Don't play the game.. Be yourself.. <p>Tex. <p>Ps, It will get better.. ;0)

First thing you need to look at is yourself... Why are you blaming it on the HS friend? You need to look at your relationship with W. What reason does she have to make contact again with HS. Is she unhappy at home? Have you all been having problems communicating, spending time together, arguments, etc.... Think about it...I would suggest reading the information provided on this site and post over in emotional needs. There is a lot of good information here that will help you to deal level headed with the situation and to focus on you. Throwing a kink in the wheel will probably make W want it even more with OM just to spite you! As one response said "good or bad" This will probably hurt you worse than you think! Be careful and concentrate more on why she would do this based on your relationship versus the rejection and hurt you are feeling. It will be hard but if you want to save the marriage you have to work from the angle of love not hate!<p>Good Luck...