Well, my friends - it has been some time since I was in here. Been busy trying to make head or tails out of my life. I have dated and was involved with a nice woman for two months - but I did not feel anything special for her even though she was quite nice and she was "in love" with me. I have not seen her since October 14th - and I don't miss her at all.<p>To those that don't know, I have had an emotional rollercoaster ride with my wife - we have been separated 3 times in the last 4 1/2 years, with her leaving all three times. She and I have been separated since December 2000 but have had ups and downs all that time and have continued to be involved emotionally and sexually on a very regular basis over that time period. She originally had a brief affair almost 5 years ago that started this free fall that we have been in. I think a combination of her guilt and my lack of trust has made it hard for us to be together. She has not always been honest with me and I still do have some trust issues. She met a guy in March and she still sees him and she has not dated any other guys except for him. He is a long distance truck driver and has been divorced twice - he is home about 2 days out of every 14. In the past three weeks, my wife and I are getting closer to each other. We are talking more, spending more time together and really enjoying it. We have been making love almost every other day on average and it is so passionate. She says she is beginning to feel pressure from her boyfriend, that he senses her attitude is different with him. He is coming home tonight and spending over a week straight with her and she is kind of dreading that, she says. We both still love each other very much. We have been working an a separation agreement and have agreed on the details, but it has yet to be completed legally - she does not seem to be in a hurry with it. This guy is pressuring her to marry him, but she tells me that she does not want that. We are getting along better now than we have for a very long time and feeling in love with each other - glad to see, be with and talk to each other. She has hurt me before and often and I have always hoped and wanted up to be happy together again some day. She says that she is afraid, and I understand that - and also she has some anger inside because I have dated two different women when we were separated and she thinks I moved to fast and maybe showed her that she didn't really matter that much to me.<p>My question is this, because I think many of you understand where I am coming from - should I continue to do what I can to win her back, by trying to make deposits into her love bank?? Or, am I just being a fool by hoping that we can have something special once again? Is she just using me to get some of her needs met while this guy is on the road and then at some point she will just throw me to the curb??<p>Earlier this year I pressured her into hopefully
dropping this guy and seeing what we had left and that was not successful. I have learned the very hard way that I cannot get her to do what I want by telling her, threatening her or demanding it. I guess my feeling right now is that all I am going to do is to enjoy my time with her and the love that we share and see where that goes, if anywhere. It gives her a chance to compare this other guy to me. It's kind of funny - he seems to be playing the role of the husband now and me as the lover.<p>What do I do my friends??? Keep doing what I am doing now? Walk away from her and never go back?? I want to try and build from the ground up with her with the little bit that we have built so far serving as the foundation for more, but I don't want to be some hopeful fool. I am hoping that you all can see this more clearly than I can and can give me some good sound advice. We have been together for almost 16 years and have three kids - 14, 12 and 8.<p>rich
