I am at my wits end. My H and I have been married 10 years. This past march he attempted to have sex with my sister,without her consent. When I found out about this I was extremely hurt.I knew that he wasn't happy in our relationship, and I took this action as a cry for help. I wanted to understand him and what he was going through and I wanted to help him. I love him very much.-I suggested that we go to counseling to help us get through this situation. He agreed, reluctantly, and we have been going for about 6 months now. He has been diagnosed as severely depressed and is now taking medication. This has helped to boost his self esteem and helped him from getting really low. (He at times seemed suicidal to me) We agreed before we went to counseling that we wanted to save our marriage and that we both loved eachother. We have discussed our pasts and what we both brought into the marriage and have gone through things that we both need to work on. I thought we were making a little progress, because I know this takes time and patience- He seems involved when we are in our sessions, yet, once we are home he has shown no interest in discussing anything. I feel that I have been meeting his emotional and physical needs. I am always giving and understanding even after this craziness with my sister. It feels like he is only doing the bare minimum (going to sessions) to help put this marriage back on track. About a week ago I found FIVE different women he has been corresponding with for about a month! (or more, I don't know)Telling them his marriage is mediocre and does nothing for him and he needs some fun- especially sexually and wants to start affairs with these women. I felt like I had been stabbed through the heart! Here I have been trying my best to please this man and help get our marriage on track and now I find that he is going behind my back trying to hook up with all these women to have affairs with. What am I doing wrong??? I have stood by this man through three previous infedelities and now I am at a loss as to what I should do. Do I continue hurting myself by staying in this relationship?, do I tell him to leave?, I don't know what to do. I have read through this entire web site and asked my husband to do the same- he read through the basic concepts- He thought it made sense- I even printed out the emotional needs questionaire- He hasn't even filled it out yet. Is there a point where giving just doesn't help? I am so devastated at this latest info. if he is not willing to give back where do I go from here? I am open to any and all suggestions.
