I find these 12 steps on another site<p>
12 Step Breakup Recovery

We admitted we were powerless over changing other's actions or choices, that our lives have become our own to manage solely.
Came to believe that only in letting go of others, and giving others back to themselves, could we restore ourselves to wholeness. <p>Made a decision to turn toward our trust and our faith that we will be okay, no matter what, we have now turned our lives over to the belief that all things happen for a reason. <p>Took an inner-reflection of ourselves, and, upon admitting our own flaws and faults, have found forgiveness for ourselves. <p>Acknowledged our anger towards those who have hurt us, and, realizing that all humans have the right to error and to their own personal happiness, we have forgiven those who have hurt us. <p>Realized that we can control our emotions, and diminish the pain in our lives, simply by how we react to the cause of the pain and our attitude toward it. Understood that we can control our amount of pain by controlling the outlook we have towards any given situation. <p>Sought through the unity of the prayer and meditation to find trust and faith that we will heal. <p>Sought to have a greater spirituality and faith in this awakening. <p>Made the conscious effort to let go of others and give them back to themselves. <p>Took a renewed interest in ourselves and our lives, and made the conscious decision to be the best that we can be. <p>Admitted that we are not perfect, nor is anybody else, and have found peace in this confession. <p>Resisted the temptation to transform our desires and wants into cravings and needs.

Thanks Jabber. I needed this. I'm struggling every moment with my H's decision to end our M. I pray daily that I can do exactly what these 12 steps say to do. Have a blessed Christmas.<p>MOM

WOOPEE!!!!<p>I finally get to respond to one of YOUR threads!!!!!!!!<p>I am amazed at how many of those I meet, but i am not totally there yet. It makes me think I have been preparing myself for this for quite a while before my marriage died.<p>Thanks jabber, for making me see how far I have come.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Thanks
those are wonderful thoughts, but for me easier to read thgan to act .
Anyway thanks.
If you find "practicum" how to make those thoughts alive please let me know.
Love

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Myownme:
I understand what a struggle it is and how much we pray that things get better. I think deep inside no matter how much control we try to have or how much we want things to change, we realize that we only have control over ourselves and can only change ourselves.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nina too:
[QB]WOOPEE!!!!<p>good to hear from you jackie, I have followed your story for along time, and I have seen how far you have come and how you have dealt with and excepted so many things keep up the good work.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by betrayed and desperate:<p>I think it is important to only try and practice the principle , we don't have to get it right everytime but with practice we come to a better understanding of things. The thing that helps me the most is staying focused on myself and taking care of myself. I know it is so hard to do but you can do it and you will be fine.

Thank you for your post. I have copied it into a Word document so I can refer to it often as I endure the breakup of my marriage. I have been reading a book which talks about the fact that happiness comes from the inside out, and that we have the power to decide to be happy or unhappy with life circumstances. I have decided to be happy regardless of everything that's going on in my life right now. "Happiness is a decision you make to experience a situation in a particular way. It is not something that is bestowed upon you from the outside."

Jabber Thanks for this... I've printed it and will post it in my office and re-copy it for my journal... it will be one of my last postings for this year... likely to be read and re-read!<p>Helga Too true about the happiness thing... it is a by-product of our choices. We are "responsible" for our happiness... in that between the *response* and *able* we are to choose positive or negative. Sorry about you H... read your other post and didn't know quite what to say.<p>Blessings to you all! Have a GREAT and safe weekend!<p>Warmly,
Nicole

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Helga:
I have also realized that that happiness is a choice not something someone gives us. It is good to know i can make choices in my life and depend on myself for my own happiness, what ever I do in life from now on will be because i choose to not because I feel I have to.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Helga:
so glad that it helps I have read it several times and have found it to have more meaning each time and the words ring so loud for me.

Jabber, <p>I was recopying these and found there are only 11 listed. Am I just not seeing something here? <p>Thanks for the info...<p>Nicole

[QUOTE]Originally posted by OvrCs:
you are right, I did the cut and paste thing I must have missed the last one and i don't know where i got it at. In any 12 steps number 12 is always pretty much the same.
12. In practicing these principals we tried to carry the message of hope to others.

Anotherone for the newcomers.

This is good stuff.