My wife and I have been married 7 years, and have been 'together' for 12.<P>After she asked for a divorce, I've been wondering if our relationship was ever really that good.<P>On good days, I feel that there were indeed good times. On bad days, well, you can imagine.<P>Her reason for wanting a divorce, in her words, is 'I don't love you anymore, and I'm repulsed by you.'<P>I've asked her to be more specific, as to why she doesn't love me. It has to do with her not having any self esteem, and a general low self worth. I, unfortunately, have contributed to her feeling this way about herself, by verbally berating her.<P>While we have problems, I feel that they are correctible.<P>We seperated one time before, under VERY similar circumstances and reason, however we seemed to put things 'back together.'<P>Then another 'issue' came up and things began to go downhill again.<P>She comes from a tough childhood. Abusive and alcholic Mother pretty much sums the childhood up.<P>I'm not sure that my wife has much insight into what a 'normal' loving relationship is, or can be. She has a negative outlook on most things, and feels that there is little to look forward to. I'm not sure if she is referring to life, or just our marriage.<P>Then again, I'm not sure that I do. I feel that I have a better understanding, but I come from a divorced family too.<P>At this point, my wife has moved out, and has said that she has NO motivation/desire to seek marriage counseling.<P>She is on an antidepressant, and is seeking individual counseling.<P>I too am seeking counseling on an individual basis, and might be on the verge of being placed on some sort of mood altering drug.<P>We have an 18 month old daughter.<P>At first, I was of the frame of mind that 'I'll be better off without this person who doesn't even want to make the SLIGHTEST effort at restoring our marriage.'<P>Then after some counseling, realizing that I might bear more of the blame on where the relationship is than initially thought, and realizing that she was really moving out, did I come to a position where I thought more and more about staying together.<P>Of course the problem is, she has ZERO desire in staying married.<P>I have spoken with numerous friends and family members about my situation.<P>Some say to forget her, and move on.<P>Others say that it sounds like she is VERY confused, and not as decided on divorce as her actions might indicate. However, the fact that she doesn't want to work on the relationship means that all I can really do is wait for her to get to a mindset where she desires a marital relationship. That is, of course, if she ever does get to that frame of mind!<P>I am unsure of what to do next. I am the type that wants/needs to have someone else in my life.<P>She is also the type of person that has a 'ready, fire, aim' mentality. Meaning, she gets and idea in her head, moves rapidly to complete that idea, and deals with the consequences and details later.<P>As a result, we already have filed for divorce and are about 10-14 days into the 90 day waiting period. We also have a written, signed, and notarized divorce agreement.<P>I would REALLY like my daughter to live in a home with a Mother and Father that love, and want to be with each other.<P>So, do I hang on in hopes that my wife will see that I am trying to make changes, that need to be made, or do I give in to what my wife so definitely 'appears' to want, which is divorce?<P>Again, she is not AT ALL receptive to marriage counseling, and cringes when I begin to talk about our relationship.
