OK, here goes..My wife and I are seperated and she says she's in love with OM. Today she had an anxiety attact when she came over to see me because I had upset her. I know alot of the problems that we have had were my fault and I suppressed her true self. But, I now know that and she knows that and that she wants herself back. I understand that. But I still think that because we both know where we went wrong, we could have a very happy marriage. But the OM is still in the picture. He's mr. perfect with her right now, but she says they do have issues and they are working on them. But, she is using the fact that she is becoming what she was when WE got married. The part of her that I suppressed to work through her problems with him. He was my BF, but now, he's not and I know him much better than she does and know what kind of person he is and what he's all about and I know that that's NOT what she wants. She knows that I want her to come back and try with me, but she says that she just doesn't have it in her to try with me anymore, even after really believing me that I understand what I have done to her. I have told her that I understand and I think that she really believes me. So why doesn't she want to try any more? Why doesn't she want to come back? Is it because she thinks she loves him? Is it because she doesn't care about me anymore? When I metioned to her that "she left me", she said "but, you left me along time ago". I know that now and know how to "fix" where we went wrong. And so does she, but she doesn't want to anymore. Is there any hope that we will ever be able to be together again? How long will it take for him to mess up so she will see that she doesn't love him and does want to be with me? I love her very much and all I want is for her to be happy. Is there anyone out there that understands this situation? Today, she gave me a real caring hug for the first time in weeks. It was a REAL hug. She patted and rubbed my back even. It didn't feel like just a friendly hug to me. So I feel that she does still care for me and she may still want to be with me, but she's scared of me going back to the way things were. Am I right here or is it just wishful thinking. What should I do to show her that I can be the person she originally married and not the insensitive jerk I've been for so long. I'm already helping her everything I can to make sure she's taken care of. I feel like I'm doing too much sometimes, but I feel as if she deserves that from me, because of the hurt I've caused. Right now, there's no way that I'm going to convince her to get away from him and work on us. He's making her too happy right now, he gives her everything that she wants and is "mr perfect" to her. Just a couple months ago, she was truly in love with me. How in a couple months can you fall out of love with someone and then truly in love with someone else. I just don't see it. I see infatuation, not love. He's depositing Love Bank deposits and I'm neither depositing nor withdrawing. She's not giving me the chance to deposit. How can I get that chance? What's going to have to happen for him to start withdrawing and me to be depositing? Again, I'm lost and don't know what to do. What should I do? Someone PLEASE give me some suggestions. I need help. I love her with all my heart and still want to be with her forever and am willing to do anything for her to get her back. help, Please!
