I have cut off contact with my XH for quite some time, altho he continues to try.<p>There's several reasons I don't want ANY contact with him. The betrayal and lies for one, and a bevy of other valid reasons. But right now the main reason is whenever I talk with him, he slips in justifications for his A, on-going guilt, attempts at invalidating our 15 year marriage, or at times even my existence in his life (20 years) .... just tons of manipulations. <p>Does anyone else experience this from their Ex when in contact? If so, what do you do?<p>Love,
Jo<p>p.s. XH and I have no children, so he's been told Divorce is the end of our relationship in every aspects.<p>[ December 25, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

My situation was similar to yours, I realized that when I had contact I was only allowing her to inflict more pain , guilt and shame on me, for something I never did. She was trying to justify what she was doing and also acted like I neve existed. I soon realized what I think you have realized, I had to cut off contact with her at any cost so that I could stop hurting myself.

Ditto jabber......it is best in the end!<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Yes,... I feel/felt much better when contact was/is at a minimum. <p>s

Every time I see my exH or phone him, he is so negative about our20yrs together. He goes so far to say that none of the girls he wanted, he said in court that our marriage didn't work for more than 15 yrs (and we wre going thru hell in trying to get second child)...not one word about at least five nice minutes together.
Maybe he is trying to find excuses, but it's also the fact that he NEVER said that he is in love with OW, that he is happy, that he wants thi new child, just opposite he repeated several times how he knew she didn't love him as much as I was (two days ago) , not a word about happiness ("i never said it's now better but it is how it is").
The baby is never mentioned not even to YD (she was lt know by her sister and me).
Till the baby he repeated to me and YD that he could not predict future so maybe....(he'll come back)
Then suddenly the baby came.
Unfortunately cause of the kids we have contact too often and every time I finish completely broken in tears and beggings, even now after 2.5 yrs.
So, if you can avoid him at any price.
They want to annulate their past, to forget it and to start a new life in which we are the stone around their neck (sorry if I am wrong, I have this feeling with my ex)
Love