I feel so alone today

I have felt so disconnected for the past couple of months- and Christmas magnified everything- I feel disconnected from my H- disconnected from my kids- my family- God....<p>Am I alone in this? Is there ANYONE else that posts here who's WS decided that they wanted you- and didn't want divorce- but you are choosing divorce anyway????<p>My marriage was ten years of hurts, lies and betrayal- and now I can't even get divorced "right"!!!<p>Please- is there someone else who is struggling with this?<p>TLFM

{{{{{Hi TLFM}}}}}}}<p>I'm so sorry for what you are facing. That must be a real bummer. I'm not in your situation, but I wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.<p>I've finally filed for divorce too, however my WS isn't anywhere near wanting to reconcile. I've often wondered what I would do if he was. That would be a really tough spot.<p>At this point, I don't really want him back. He's a renter, pure and simple. He rented with me for 11 years....a record in his book....but he's a renter anyway. It would take a miracle for him to change enough to be the type of person I now know I deserve and want.<p>I've learned so much from this process....all against my will, mind you. But some lessons come in disguise.<p>I've finally realized that I'm worth more than the lies, betrayal and pain. I deserve a husband who puts me above himself. I deserve to be treated with respect. And while my STBXH is a good person overall....he doesn't know how to do that.<p>So I feel the same as you....divorce isn't what I wanted to choose, but now there just isn't any other choice. I know too much.<p>So instead of saying... <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I can't even get divorced "right"!!!<hr></blockquote>
...maybe you are making the right choice given the circumstances and it just feels crappy because you believe in people and didn't want this choice in the beginning.<p>Keep the faith.
Aloha,
Ms.O