I would like some "outside" advice. I've already talked to my lawyer about this, and my lawyer agrees with me.<p>First, you need to know that my H (separated now 5 1/2 months) can be obsessive about anything he decides to obsess over. Usually, it is in calling me time and time again until I answer the phone. Because of this, I watch Caller ID closely, and turn my phone ringer off by 9 p.m., and don't turn it on in the mornings before going to work. I don't turn my cell phone on unless I'm using it, and since I can't have the voice mail on my cell phone disconnected, I just don't check it. This has made it extremely difficult for my family to reach me, but has been necessary for me.<p>H has been obsessive about calling our son. In fact, son has commented about how many times his dad will call. And since we usually get home at 6 and son has an 8:30 bedtime, I don't have much time with him once we have dinner, do homework, etc., etc. So, in an attempt to have some time with son, and to keep things somewhat "normal" I told H that he could only call son once per evening. My lawyer agreed that this was reasonable. When H has son, I only call once per evening to talk to him. <p>H thinks I'm being unreasonable. I'm just trying to spend some time in the evenings with my son without being interrupted continuously by the phone.<p>And yes, I have let him call him more than once, but last night he really got on my nerves and when he called for the second time in a row at 5:30 (I had the day off so was home earlier), I told him if he talked to our son again, he would have to tell him good night, because I wouldn't answer the phone again. I offered to let him call back closer to bedtime, but he wanted to talk to him right then.<p>And I would have never thought about limiting the phone calls if H wasn't so obsessive at times.<p>So he thinks I'm being unreasonable? Would appreciate some outside opinions. (FYI: Son is 6 yo.) Thanks!

Having a six-year-old myself - I don't think I can imagine talking to one more than once in an evening on the phone - my son hates the phone. In fact, when his father calls, he doesn't want to talk to him. He's never even indicated an interest in answering the phone.<p>I guess that is my response to this question -your H is making the situation abnormal for your son - I wouldn't allow it.<p>Jan

Jan,<p>Thanks for your reply. H has threatened to come to my place to tell son good night if I ever don't let him talk to his son again. Guess I just won't answer the phone if it's before 7:30. <p>H tried to "get even" tonight. He has our son, and I called to tell son good night at the usual time - 7:30. He didn't answer the phone or his cell phone, which told me he was intentionally ignoring my call. I called again at 7:45, and he finally let our son answer the cell phone. <p>And although my six-year-old won't usually answer the phone, he doesn't mind talking on it - as long as it's not a lot. Once a night seems to be plenty for him.<p>And while I'm asking questions about limiting phone calls, I have another one. H called son at the after-school sitter's house a couple of weeks ago. It really irritated me, but don't know that I can do anything about it. Any suggestions there? I really don't want there to be any conflict between the sitter and H. Thanks again.<p>So Very Confused

I do not think you are being unreasonable, I think he is. May want to let him know he is affecting your son in a less than positive way. I do not think you are doing anything wrong. Your not keeping him away from his son, which alot of women do. Good luck!<p>hcooper