Hi Kimberly -<p>I went through this very same thing. OW and her H were our best friends for several years before she and my H had their affair. So her H and I were already good friends. We talked a lot right after the disclosure of the affair to compare notes, and just for support. When our spouses left us, we were devastated, and turned to each other for that support. We did not have a physical relationship, although we wanted to. I think we both knew that neither of us was in a place to have a healthy relationship, and it also went against our religious beliefs. My H and the OW have since married, and while sometimes I think about OW's H and what could be, I normally remember that if we got together, it would be more a nightmare for us being tied to everything, when we would just like to move on. I have 3 children, and he has 2, and I am his 2 year old's godmother, so the whole children thing makes it hard too. He has such hatred for my ex H that he would have a hard time knowing my kids were part his. I really thought at one time he was what I wanted, but now I think I just wanted someone to love me, and he was in the same place I was. I am thankful we never took our relationship to the next level, because it clearly wasn't meant to be.
But I sure can understand the attraction of it. We just wanted to rid ourselves of the rejection we felt from our spouses, and to feel attractive and alive again. Everyone I talked to about it advised against it, and although that wasn't what I wanted to hear at the time, I think it was wise advise. Good luck!<p>WhoamInow
