Hi all,<p>My attorney called today saying that a date has been set for March 6 to go before the judge. However, if stbx doesn't have a job by then the date will be post poned. She says the judge will never sign off on the divorce without child support, and his lawyer will never sign off with child support if STBX doesn't have a job. So there may or may not be an end to all this. <p>Also, my stbx wants back in the house to go through everything one more time. He's afraid he will miss something important in the items he wants. <p>He left several personal items here, I've told him I packed them all and put them in the garage, in plastic containers with lids. He says I had no right to do that and also says that he is going to spend the money to get it changed where he can go through everything again. My lawyer says "fat chance". I don't want to be unfair, but I really prefer him not come in and go through all my things. Everything in the closets and drawers are my belongings. <p>I am ready to end this after 7 months of waiting but I guess if it doesn't happen on March 6, there isn't a darn thing I can do about it.<p>Just wanted to post an update.<p>ANNA

Anna, <p>Good Luck...My Prayers are with you..<p>Keep us informed

Been there. I think I had at least three different "final" dates ... there was always something unresolved. And there was the time that he didn't show up because his attorney didn't know we were supposed to be in court ... even though I'd found out six months prior ... anyway ...<p>Hang in there.

Hey A2K. Boy howdy do I hear ya. Dig this.<p>The X came over to my house the other day. I had all of her stuff (that has been in MY house for the past 20 or so months) folded and packed up in plastic boxes in the spare bedroom.. Mater of fact all of her stuff is in the spare bedroom. <p>(I neglected to tell her (the X) a couple of girlfriends helped me pack her stuff. HeHeHe, Snicker, snicker) <p>She wallked in a saw it and there was an immediate change in her demeener. Dark clouds started forming.. I saw them coming and while we were talking I continually and slowly walked for the front door. As we got to the front door, I opened it, gave a hug/kiss to my daughter, kissed the X on the check, then opened the weatherdoor and let them go outside. Man it felt good. To get her out of the house. It most be something about plastic rubbermade containers.. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Tex.

TR & Princess,<p>Thanks so much for the support. It really matters. I have such mixed feelings about everything. I hate the word "divorce" and I hate that I will be in that group. Sorry, it's just one group I really didn't want to volunteer to be a part of. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
A good guy in Texas,<p>I know my stbx saw his stuff in rubbermaid in the garage and he is still fuming. He says I had no right, he says rats, snakes and moths can get in his stuff. We have rats and snakes in our garage???? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] I don't think so! sheesh!<p>I told him he can pick his stuff up anytime...He says he doesn't have room. So what did he expect, me to keep his half the closet and his half the dresser as is??? sheesh!<p>I really think the only reason he wants to go through the house is for one last chance to go through my personal items, if my attorney is wrong and the judge authorizes, I think I'll fill my drawers with edible undies, naughty toys and whips and chains. hehe. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] That'll teach him!<p>Take care,<p>ANNA

Dear Anna,<p>I understand about not wanting him in your house. My STBXH also thinks he can store his things here because he does not have room (at his apartment on the lake - give me a break here) My sister said that I should charge him a storge fee (HeeHee) Sounds good to me [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] but I don't have the moxie to do it. I did change the locks though. This made him very mad. I did tell him I would be happy to let him in if he wants to get the remains of his stuff - I would love to have it out of here!!! I like the rubbermaid philosophy though - I'm going to Walmart right now [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And I also know what you mean about this loooong drawn out process. My court hearings have been bumped twice, and there still seems like we have such a long way to go. He won't agree to child support, so it looks like we will have to do the whole court thing. It is like perpetual limbo. And I am just now staring to be able to say I am going through a divorce - I really HATE that word. I did not want to be in this club either - I guess none of us do. I guess if we did we would be at the "jumping for joy - got rid of the old ball and chain" message board! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Good luck to you. You have been so helpfull to me in my threads-bless you. I guess we will get through this one way or another - right?<p>God Bless you and keep you,
Lisa [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Lisa,<p>Thanks for your thoughts. Yep, I think this is a club none of us want to be in...You know, that term "divorce club" actually first came from stbx a few weeks ago. When I was telling him that I have the every other week schedule for the children set with my friends schedule who is also going through a divorce he said, "What are you in some type of divorce club?" Sheesh! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] Kind of stuck in my head after that....<p>I saw you posted and will find some time to read and see if I have anything worth adding to add.<p>Take care,<p>ANNA

ROFLMAO, on the rubbermaid..all the stbx's things have been in rubbermaid containers for years..since he was gone so much..<p>Although, he did complain when I asked for the key to the shed..after he'd already taken what he wanted out of it..he got a storage shed for what doesn't fit in his apartment..<p>you could give them a to "get your stuff by date" or else it's going to a local charity..
and you set the date and time they can come get
their things..if they don't come by then..oh well
they had their chance..<p>LOL...Anna, you could tell him that what Mothballs are for..and stuff it full of them...YUCK..the smell alone would have to be washed out before he could actually wear anything..<p>Okay okay..so I do have a mean streak..

I backed my truck up & filled my STBX items in it, had him come by & take them to his moms when he 1st left, like a fool I took him back for a month 2nd time everything was really to go when he came home from seeing MOW, he told me I should have put the items in a yard sale, MOW didnt want them, while he was still living with me I did sell some items that both of us didnt want. Now he is claiming I sold his belonging while he was gone, thank god I had 2 of his co-workers there when we did the yard sale cant wait to see if he lies in court. he is still trying to get inside the house telling our son he wants to install more memory in his computer, finally told him give it to our son & Ill find someone else to install it.
m-17yrs
D-1-22-2002
C-12yr,28,7yr old gd
MOW-10yrs
D-pending
C-small boys under 10
STBH & MOW are engaged

<p>[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: rosita ]</p>

Anna--<p>My boss-attorneys in the past have negotiated through situations like yours. They have requested the absent spouse to LIST all items they wish to retrieve from the house. Then if anything's missing once they go through "rubbermaided" items they can negotiate for return of those items.<p>I only recall one instance of a walk-through being allowed. Both spouses were present, as well as both attorneys. It went smoothly.

Hi TR,<p>Moth balls hehe! Ohhhhh I think he'd kill me!<p>Rosita,<p>Sheesh, I was welcoming you to MB and just noticed your number. You post very little hehe. Did you want to say something on your post to me?<p>Okay, I'm confused..Your thread says you are new to the boards, but your number says you have been here for about three years. Did you used to post and then stopped?<p>Laura,<p>Thanks for the advice. Well, I can't see the judge awarding him time to come back in the house. He had months to come and go as he pleased here. He moved out in May and he would come in and stay even when I asked him to leave. He did this until the middle of June. <p>Then when he filed for divorce, and even though he had his own residence, he had the nerve to have his lawyer put in something like this in the restraining order, "H will have the right to enjoy the leisure of the home anytime at ????address." So he was able to come and go as he pleased which went on about another month. It was weird knowing he could come in at 1:00 in the morning and go to bed, if he saw fit. He never did it but weird to think he could. Now he says he didn't have enough time to go through the house??? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] I just don't see it!<p>Thanks for all your comments!<p>ANNA<p>[ January 05, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Anna,<p>I sure laughed at the Rubbermaid containers. I just put all STBX's stuff in a box, and now some xtra odds and ends are going into a trunk that we used to keep Christmas stuff in. He requested the ornaments and some old stamp stuff of his dads, it's been in the trunk for a month, but since he can no longer come here and I don't want to meet him anywhere, it sits. <p>He did one walk through the house before I got exclusive use of the house orders. Just wanted to look through all the closets and everything, a basic spy trip more or less, he only took a motocross pipe and a container of hair gel from 1989 or before. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am envious that you actually have a final date set, so I know I have come a long way in this procedure. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take care and best of luck to you!<p>Lori