i need to vent before i explode. stbx started to pay child support again after 4 months. we will be getting divorced shortly. as soon as he gives me the other half of his money for it. <p>well he knows how much the courts are gonna order him to pay $316 every two wks. our child goes to catholic school ($220) and has a college fund ($40.40) so at the end of dec he mailed me half of the divorce money and $316 dollars for our child.<p>he just got paid and tuition and college fund are due which he has been paying for months will we were separated. now that he has decided to divorce his choice he claims he cant afford to pay and give child support b/c now he has to pay half of ow's house bills and have money to live off of. <p>he sent me a chk today for $56 he subtracted out the tuition and child support!!!!!!! what is $56 suppose to do? i wish he would give me the other $250 so i could run to the lawyer and get divorced i despise him right now
not only was he a cheater for yrs now he is penny and diming me <p>he has not spent much time with our daughter and when he comes around its only when its convient for him. like he is gonna be in the neighborhood tommorrow and said if we are around he will come by meanwhile i told him he can not come to this house. <p>he has yet said he will come do lunch with our daughter/take her to a movie or any of the sort. the few times he has seen her he has been going to his aunt's house that has tons of people there so how much quality time is he giving child????<p>and the few times he has been around he did not even stay for 3 hrs he dedicates all his time to ow and loves it. <p>i would love for our child to see him but i can't stand the way he acts everything is on his time and when he feels like it. <p>he calls and says to her "i love you" he is so fake i really don't think he cares but pretends really well. when he lived here our daughter went to bed many nights withouts seeing him b/c he was running around being a cheat. <p>he just makes his own rules and i am just suppose to abide by them i will no longer i did in the past and i believe that is why things are the way they are now. <p>him and i do not even speak he is just busy running around living like he never was married since in his head he divorced me yrs ago. ow is not the first she is just the one he finally moved in with. and throughout the summer he was waffling with me only she didnt find out until oct. of 2000 and he was living with her and then came back here for 6 wks and that she didnt even know she thought he was at his aunts house <p>i confronted her and told her the truth and the next day he was living with her again ever since. i don't blame her b/c he was dating before her and when he is content with her he will probably be dating after her. <p>he just needed a place to live and she welcomed him in. so that is where he is. living the life as a wonderful boyfriend but look at all the hurt and confusion he caused his "wife and child" <p>other just believes its bc he got married young 25 bc that is what he told her. she thinks she has some new improved man and he is not gonna be a !@#$$%%^&* with her. <p>good luck to her and someone post b/c i am about to loose my mind. cant wait till divorce happens and i get over all the bull i went through with him for yrs. <p>we were together 10 yrs and he cheated througout those 10 yrs left wife and child and moved in with ow 3wks after he left. and he thinks he has changed and will be different this time around as if died and came back as someone new. ugh i am so frustrated right now.

just wanted to bump myself up

I am sorry for your pain, what a eowiytpoyut8947p, anyway... I am sooo sorry... He is really self centered isn't he... YOur child will see this, and the two of you will grow, you will be Ok without him.<p>Take steps to take care of you finanically without him...let what he gives you be gravy... do not depend on it.<p>HUGS< HOney

Ah, tha anger stage............good!<p>You know I really believe that when we are consumed by overwhelming anger towards our WS and the situation, it is the REAL beginning of healing. I believe this because I had a similar serious 'want to kill' thing a couple of months ago. And you know, the grief I had felt for the loss of my marriage has never really been as intense as it was before then.<p>NOT that I am saying I have recovered totally.......I know I have a long way to go. But someone here once posted that there were five elements to grieving that everyone must go through. Shock, depression, disbelief, anger acceptance.....and these can be cyclic. Not sure if I got those right, but you get the idea.<p>Take it a step at a time, let the anger happen, and move on. You will be the stronger for it.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky