Well I just found out, 9 months after divorce EW is going to marry the OM, this news sucks but it didn't surprise me. All of this is so out of character for her, but I quess the fog is still thick. I quess I just keep moving forward in life with this numbing pain that I still have inside of me. I had hoped that she would come to her sences and realize what she had lost, but I ques not this year. It still hurts and is still so baffling to me, that after 23yrs together someone can just toss you aside like a peice of garbage. I don't think it was her leaving or divorcing me that hurt so much, it was the way she just abandoned me and has had no contact with me, then went and said horrible things about me to my family and hers, I know it was to justify her leaving for OM. She still to this day claims she didn't leave to be with him, even though she was with him 6 wks after she left me. Oh well Life goes on and I will get through this just like I got through the rest of it, thanks for listening ang being here, even though I wish and pray that none of us were here or at least none of us had a reason to be here. I feel sad over my loss today and am having a pity party I think, I will pick myself up and move on once again.

((((((((Jabber))))))))))))<p>I am so sorry. It is so soon for her to marry. I know it must of hit you like a ton of bricks...I think she'll wake up some day shocked over everything and she will be having her own pity party.<p>I am bringing some brownies and icecream to your party, if we are going to have a pity party then we are going to pig out at your party!<p>Take care guy!<p>ANNA

I'm bringing smores and some luscious hazelnut coffee... (I get in BIG trouble when I mention brownies around here!)<p>Sorry for the bad new Jabber - but we're gonna have some fun [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jan

<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>

I'll bring chips and dip, that's my comfort food. I'm looking pretty 'comfortable' lately. Carrying around my own 10# seat cushion. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I can't say 'I know how you feel', I don't know if my X is even dating or not, but I can say I won't be doing to him what yours is doing to you ... I have NO inclination to get married again! Even though I'm in a great long-term relationship with no fights at all (so foreign to me!!) we are not considering living together or marriage. I don't see why so many people rush in, from this side of divorce that's the last thing I want.

Jan,<p>I vote you make the brownies. I have seen your brownie recipe and it beats mine hands down. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I will bring margaritas instead. hehe.<p>ANNA<p>[ January 07, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

WOW Girls this party turned out to be much better than I thought it would, I had no idea you gals would show up with so many goodies, I feel better already just knowing there are others who understand the pain and confusion of what happens to us. thanks for making my day a better day.

((((((((((((((((jabber)))))))))))))))))<p>I am sorry for this latest development. I know you will overcome this, like you have other obstacles.<p>For the party, I am bringing pavlova, since I am Australian. It is like a large meringue pie, filled with cream and has fresh strawberries on top. YUMMY, and VERY comforting.<p>Love and light to you jabber,<p>Jacky

Jabber,
Sorry to hear of your pain and the news you told us all about. I too wish none of us were here, that there were no need for sites such as this because everyone who has ever been married would cherish their love, their spouse, their life...too bad we all cannot live in a fairytale.
Keep your chin up...you sound like such a strong person. And know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hey Jabber,<p>I sure can relate to the feeling like an abandoned piece of garbage. Still incredibly hard to fathom how uncaring they become.<p>I shared a special story that happened to me about my three kitties that were abandoned at my local dump....<p>My Christmas Story of Hope<p>...I look at those kitties every day and just see pure perfection (or purr-fection [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ). Last week, as I was cuddling one of them as he slept, I had in insight....as much as I love and cherish them, that's not even a fraction of how God feels about me. <p>It's taken me a long time to even partially apprehend and believe that, but it has helped alot over the past two years to get some of my self-esteem back. <p>You know what? It's their loss! Now all they have to hang onto are the lies, the deceit and the self-justification. Oh well.....One person's "garbage" could be another person's answered prayer.<p>Keep the faith.
Aloha,
Ms.O<p>[ January 07, 2002: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</p>

well i think i will have a tummy ache after eating all these sweets, I love pie and strawberrys and brownies, you gals have picked all my favorites.

so true and I have found out I am not garbage, there are many who love and respect me, it still hurts when the one you expect it from the most treats you that way, when strangers tell you how important you are and how much they care, and the one you love doesn;t even acknowledge your existance, I have moved on but there are still these minor set backs and i realize it is just the mourning of a loss and in time it will be over.

you thoughts and prayers mean more to me than you could ever imagine, it is a task to pray for someone else and that shows how giving and caring of a person you are

Hi Jabber -<p>I know exactly how you feel. My ex H married OW (one of my best friends) 4 days after our divorce was final. Yes, 4 days. And that was just 2 months after we seperated for the last time. I felt like I had been run over by a train. Not only was I completely and totally replaced, but she is also my three young children's STEPMOTHER. Ugh. It is so hard. <p>I will bring peanut butter and chocolate things to the pity party. I am trying hard to not eat bad things for me, so am dreaming of those right now. Also, if my mouth is full, I can't complain about the injustices of this world. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sorry you are having to go through this. I tried to look at it as positive that they married so quickly - I wouldn't be thrown for a loop waiting for that other shoe to drop much later down the road, AND it just means the sooner they realize no one is perfect, not even their wonderful amazing fairy tale affair person. I think while things can only improve for me, they can only get worse for them. At least that is positive self help mantra for today. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Who am I now

(((((((jabber)))))<p>I can understand you so well, unfortunatelly.
My exH hasn't married his OW yet (6 months after divorce) but baby is going to be borne in 2 months: so please try to count-on the divorce day she was already pregnant).
And all that after 22 yrs being together, with 20yrs old daughter and 12 yrs YD. They are going to have a new sister/brother!!!
They are "delighted".<p>I feel like a piece of garbidge still can not find myself (if that exists).<p>So, keep going, moving on-you are doing that much better than me.
You helped me few times and believe me, those are not phrases, you are so nice person.
You'll be even better.
You are wonderful.<p>BTW for the party I'll bring home made "Rafaello" (Italy is near) a lot of coconut, sugar, cream. A lot of calories!!!

WhoamInow and betrayed and desparate
just when I think I have had it rough and life couldn't be worse, the two of you come along to cheer me up and I realize there are those in life that have had it tougher, I am sorry for what you two have been through, I couldn't imagine a new baby or 4 days after divorce, I think that would have put me over the edge, you are both strong woman, And I can only say just like all the ladies here you are great people, I realize that your WS spouses are the big loosers here, they never took the time to get to really know you ladies or see what you really had to give, All of the people here have so much to offer, it is sad that the WS can't see past the tip of their nose's. Wellany way this party is great, and all the sweets are wonderful so everyone dig in we can all start our diet next week. I hope and pray that this year is a great year for all of us.

Gee jabber,<p>Have you noticed this party is ALL WOMEN, and just you? Better watch it, you will get a reputation! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How about we girls call ourselves "Jabbers Harem Heaven" just to BOOST that reputation a little!!!!!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am bringing some lamingtons now........jabber, don't look green!!!!!!!!! Have one ! Just ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm having a pity party myself.<p>Not a relationship thing. A work and financial life thing.<p>Have hunted for a new job for the better part of a year. Have had abysmal luck. After 10 years at home with children, your career is sunk, sunk, sunk. Can't even land an entry level job. Go figure. I had 10 years in the field.<p>Absolutely sick over it.<p>So, I am going back to a job I had 15 years ago. I held this job for 5 years. And they are going to pay me on the second step of the salary range. It's $300 a month less than I need. It's $1100 a month more than I'm making now. (That should tell you how little I'm making now.) I hope I break even. First interview was on Halloween and I had the offer before we even discussed the job. (And this woman didn't know me - she only knew of me.) And Friday I finally found out when I start - next Wednesday. After almost 10 weeks, I finally got a start date from the head of personnel for the agency with which I will be working. But not from the office manager.<p>And this means I won't get paid for a month.<p>And my children don't understand the concept of hurry. and we will have to leave the house almost 30 minutes earlier than we have been leaving. <p>And it's been cold lately. And my house has been cold because I have a heat pump and they weren't made for days when the high is 30 degrees and the low is 15 degrees. So, I'm warm when the house gets up to 68.<p>And my car has been in the shop since Thursday. It gets a new coil module of some type and a new timing chain to the tune of $850 on a 1986 Olds.<p>I'll bring the hot chocolate and Kahlua.

welcome to the party cinderela, and I think that after reading why you came you made a good choice in bringing Kahlua, that will surely help us forget our troubles for awhile.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Nina too:
<strong>Gee jabber,<p>Have you noticed this party is ALL WOMEN, and just you? Better watch it, you will get a reputation! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How about we girls call ourselves "Jabbers Harem Heaven" just to BOOST that reputation a little!!!!!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am bringing some lamingtons now........jabber, don't look green!!!!!!!!! Have one ! Just ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote>