Wiffle,<p>That was so incredibly sweet of you to go through the post and check to see what was really going on. <p>I have to be honest and say the first post I posted on the thread I was shocked by what happened and could have took it a little less personal, but being a mother and thinking "what if that happened to me and my children" made it more personal than I should have...Even with that, you are right, I was very concerned about the outcome of the whole thing. My intentions were always good intentions.<p>Right now, I am not concerned with "MistyMae's" thoughts about what I did or didn't do. This is why I didn't respond to her post. My concern is more with ES and his mental health. He just went through a major blow to his life and I could be wrong but I would think the "Christmas thread" reappearing is a bad trigger to him. <p>I also see that for now I am not helping ES, so I was letting others help him. I did not realize how much this is taking it's toll on ES. I see that he just needs support right now to get through this shock he has experienced. He is getting some great advice from SNL and I think that is wonderful.<p>ES, <p>If you are reading this, sorry to be talking about you in third person. With your thread continuing, I just worried it may be upsetting you further to bring up the past again... <p>There is nothing you can do to change the past, now you just have to move forward. Grieve and then try to go on.<p>Your daughter needs her daddy in her life very much. You are strong and although you have taken a blow, you can get through this, I know you can. You will be a great dad. You show your W and MIL you were down but never out. I know you said your work has counseling services, use these services for yourself right now, tell them what you are feeling and don't hold anything back, get strong again mentally, if for nothing else, because your daughter needs her dad in her life.<p>I also want you know when your daughter starts doing sports and school activities, your wife can not keep you from these activities. You will be amazed at how much time you can spend with her when she has these activies.<p>My children have many activities during the year, there father really does get to see them more than 6 days a week, he goes to every one of them. <p>My OS told me that he thinks his father spends more time with him now than he did when he lived with us. Sure he was there every night, but now their father appreciates the time so much that he spends every hour of his 6 days a week talking with them, playing games with them, going places. My son recently came home beaming with joy for the time that he got to spend with his dad. I saw the smile on his face as he said, "Dad spends so much time with us now." Also, the closer my husband and he are getting the more my son ask me if he can call his dad on the phone, and of course I let him. They have great phone conversations.<p>It will get better ES, please take one day at a time, and know if you feel like giving up on one of those days, just get through the day and think "Today I do not have to make any choices, there is always tomorrow to do that."<p>Take care,<p>Again Wiffle, you are a sweetie. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Thanks!<p>ANNA<p>[ January 07, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>
