I'm a complete basket case. My husband and I are separated, actually the divorce papers have been filed but, I feel that a divorce is not the answer to any problems. I am planning to stop the papers immediately. I believe that I made the decision to say that I wanted a divorce based on what other people thought I needed to do. I've allowed others to predict my life for so long. I love my husband even though I've told him so many times in the last 4 to 6 months that I don't. Being apart has made me realize that it's not him that I don't love, but myself. I've been working with a counselor for over 6 months and I feel that I was doing much better. But, I allowed myself to fall back into listening to others. We have married for 18 1/2 years and yes we have had many problems but, we have always worked through them. I know that we need to talk more and we need to be best friends. I've told my husband that I really do love him and I'm sorry for everything I've said to hurt him. I know that we can work things out and be happy if he would forgive me and give us a chance. But, I don't feel that being apart will allow us the time we need together to talk and work through things and make things right. He says that maybe 3, 6, 9 months or so down the road we might be able to get back together. I don't think I can live my life wondering and hoping everyday that he will take me back. We have 2 sons, a 16 year old and a 10 year old. The youngest wants us back together to bad and I'm scared that he is going to have alot of problems down the road if we don't. He has his hopes up so high that his Daddy is going to move back in with us. But, the oldest has wanted us to divorce for a long time. I've always given everything to him and I guess I allowed myself to give him this one thing that is destroying the most important thing in my life. Please help me...give me some type of advice that will help me to convince my husband that I love him more than life itself and that I'll never ever hurt him in this way again.
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Please give us more information. You are at the right place and there are many experts here who will help you. <p>Have either of you had an affair?
If so tell about it. <p>Have you read the articals given on this sight?
Please go to "Just found out" and look for the welcome thread. Read ALL that you can so we can be on the same page. <p>Have you read the Harley books? If not then please do. These things will help you understand the advise that will come to you from the comunity here.