i lost it yesterday. me and h are getting a divorce and the only hold up right now is money. he is suppose to pay for half and so far he has only given half of what he is entitled to pay. <p>he is saying his money is tight and doesn't know when he will be able to give me the other half. and he is paying daughters tuition and college fund total is $260.20 plus his other bills and half of ow house bills as he finally started paying up for staying their something he did not do for the first 8 months he was there. <p>now all he says is how his money is "so tight" and when daughter's tuition and college fund are due he only sends me $56 b/c he knows that court is going to make him pay $316 so when daughters other stuff is due he subtracts that from child support amt. <p>i told him he needs to find the money so we can proceed with the divorce. he has already changed his mailing address to ow home and he still owes $1400 in child support as he stopped paying in sept and didn't start again till the end of dec. so he needs to send all the back pymts. <p>i also told him i will give him half of daughters tuition and half of the college fund since he can't pay $40.40 each month for the fund. but he needs to give me the $316 for c.support. he just does as he pleases and that is why i am in a rush to get divorce going so i can get the back pay plus get the full amt regardless of tuition and the c. fund <p>i can not pay all the money for the divorce and i don't feel i should have to. he was the cheater throughout the marriage he wanted out he moved in with ow and is still married. he has no morals/values. he is really giving our daughter some example. <p>he don't even see daughter calls when he feels like it and only attempts to see her if he is "in the neighborhood" other than that he doesn't come around. oh he came baring gifts for her bday and xmas. <p>he spent tons of money for xmas on presents for daughter,his mom, and ow but can't give me $250.<p>i am at a dead end. i can not pay his half and mine for the divorce. i just want everything i am entitled to and thats it. he wants this over but is really dragging it out. <p>says he is "sorry" for all the pain he has caused but its time for me to move on. i don't want him back but its just so much easier for him to move on b/c he has ow stroking his ego and has her believing he is a "good guy" and things btwn him and i just didn't work and honestly it just didn't work b/c he was a liar and a cheat. and he told me no need to be angry what's done is done and i need to just move on. <p>i told him its not that easy and that i am dealing with this by myself while he has her to take his mind off of it he has no remorse and is just happy that he has a new "loving relationship"
ow is his everything. i just want him to get what he deserves <p>guess i am bitter and very hurt by the pain and rejection he has caused but how could it just be no sweat off his back while i am dealing with so much <p>work,raising a child and trying to move on oh i forgot mananging an apartment all on my own. i know in time it will make me strong but right now i am so hurt not wanting him just hurt and dealing with it being over. <p>he is just skipping through the park and having a grand time with himself and her<p>its sooooooooooooo hard<p>pls post.
how do you move in with someone while you still need to deal with divorce he hasn't talked to our child about anything and he is such a kjdoift@@##.<p>pls post i need support

While things appear to be grand with your STBX, overall they are not. Don't worry about getting even, that is a waste of time. If he thinks money is tight now he is in for a rude awakening when the divorce is final. Make sure you document/log what he pays now and what he owes. Naturally, you need legal advice regardless if you cannot afford it.
You are at a point where everything appears difficult. But that is the current nature of things. As you move through this phase, things will improve but you must have tangible goals that are focused at self/life improvement. If you think things could not get any worse then that means things can only get better.
I have a different take on the "fog" and I call it lust. The fog is just its manifestation. The downside to lust is that it can never be fulfilled. Vicious cycle isn't it? Your STBX and OP are heading nowhere.

(((((left alone))))))<p>I know how you feel.. I too think of how they can go on just skipping along the road of life and not even look back once. Itis soooo sad.<p>I'm also sorry that your stbx hasn't paid you the money... have you called the lawyer... maybe its time for temp orders or better yet, have it taken off his check before he gets his check. My exh waits until the very last day to pay my child support.... and as long as he gets it in by the 30th of the month he's OK... he makes me sick !!I would say, call your lawyer.... and see what they say.<p>For christmas he bought one son two forty dollar books.... and flew his WH**E from london to wisconsin then to the state of washington... go figure... and heres the kicker... he'll cry to me about money...... go figure.... I just tell him to call his girlfriend and ask for it... this is what he and she wanted... so they should be happy.<p>I guess you've noticed by my posts that I'm a MB failure... at plan a and then tried a plan b ... nope failed both.... It upset me to see your post.... as I have the same feelings as you... I know I have to work on letting this go and all... but I have to say, I'm trying....<p>They (exh's) just don't seem to see what they have done...they feel like this is the right thing... its been 2 years since d-day for me... and last month he said to me...Don't you ever feel sad"???? What the heck???? That told me that they don't get it!!! One day I'm sure that the anestheia(sp) will wear off and then the'll look back and see what they have done..... I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one!!!<p>I know I've rambled to you.... and yes, I've vented... I just hate to see someone hurting due to someone that is SELFISH!!!!!....<p>I feel for the children... How sad for them.... they ws has no idea how this effects people/children/parents/siblings/friends/etc...etc...<p>I hope I've helped.... take care for yourself... take a hot bath... go for a walk..... clean a closet.... I know that physical activity helps me alot..... tell yourself... that for right now, I'm not going to think about it... like put it on the back burner.. and think about it later.....<p>Are you on a anti'd... are you seeing a therapist?? make sure you see someone. <p>Our guardian angels are working overtime now!!!
I also read the serenity prayer and recite it when I'm having a bad time... also read footprints. I also pray to god to take the damaging thoughts and obsessive thoughts from my mind.... anything that is not good for me. I surrender it all... because I can not do it alone. <p>sorry for the ramble.....<p>other websites I found is www.divorcebusting.com
I hope this had helped....<p>Take care...<p>blessings,
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