Over the thanksgiving holiday I got to see all of my family including my sister who just got breast implants. I never knew breasts could look that great! But now, Im very depressed. If you have read my posts my H has gone many times to strip clubs and has told my he is not happy with my breasts. Well now I know why he went to these clubs! I keep myself in excellent shape, but after having 3 children my breasts have suffered. <P>My H is a major breast man...I have read about men being visual and how it is an important emotional need. I believe this is very important to my H. I love my breasts to be touched(H wont do it anymore)and I want to be able to take off my shirt and blow his mind instead of feeling ugly and inadaquate. <P>I know some may say that my breasts are not the only thing that make me a woman. But feeling totally beautiful and being able to slowly take your shirt off in front of your man and blow his mind is part of feeling sexy. I feel like my breasts should be a major factor in my "sexiness" to my H.<P>My H says he doesnt like the idea of me getting implants...but I asked him if he thought my sister looked good and his response was yes. I want him to look at me like that again...Im afraid of the surgery...yet I think it would be worth the risk.<P>Are there women out there who have had it done? And what do the men out there think of this....I guess one of my emotional needs is to have great breasts.

caron:<P>As with any decision like this in a marriage, you should discuss it with your husband, using the Policy of Joint Agreement. If you both end up "agreeing" enthusiastically about the procedure, saline implants have been shown to be fairly safe. There's always some risk in surgery---get a referral for a good surgeon.<BR>

Your new breasts may look better but beware. You may suffer nerve damage and no longer feel his caress!

justaguy....I know the possiblility of suffering nerve damage, but my H wont touch them now...I would be willing to have him "want" to touch me and feel confident in my breasts. Believe me, his distaste with my breast affects our sex life. I am willing to take the risk of losing feeling in my breasts because I will feel like more of a woman. <P>I know there is more to being a woman than just tits, its attitude, confidence, and feeling good....Well, I had all that, but my H has addmitted he is disatisfied with my breasts and that affects me "alot."

I think it's sad you have to undergo painful surgery to make your H happy. <P>I would hope that if I go thru a windshield in an accident, or have my breasts removed due to cancer, or another some such misfortune - my H would stick with me and love me no matter what my outer shell looked like. Isn't that a definition of true love? Loving the person, not their body? Not throwing them away or rejecting them because of appearances which are many times beyond our control? <P>I think it's sad your H doesn't love you as you are. I think it must be very scarey - I hope he'll love you when you're old, wrinkled and grey. The strip bars will still be there when you're middle aged...<P>I think your marital problems are more than skin deep here. <p>[This message has been edited by KarmaGrrl (edited December 07, 1999).]

First of all, I really admire you for desiring physical intimacy with your husband. Many wives honestly do not care if their husband ever touches them at all. <P> As to the surgery, it can be very expensive and sometimes women are not always pleased with the results. First, I would suggest that you and your husband clarify your marital issues with counseling to ensure that this is the root problem. If you take this step, you need to be sure that it will alleviate the dysfuntion. <P> Second, if you both determine that this step will help your relationship, I suggest that you perhaps try a new surgery which allows the surgeon to add or take out saline from the implants for up to 6 months after surgery, so that you can "try out" different sizes until you find the optimum size for you. <P> There is nothing inherently wrong with implants, but just make sure that this will help your relationship before you have them done.

Caron:<P>Before considering implants, consider this:<BR>About half of the implants don't come out the way you want them to right from the start. Secondly, If they do look good at first they will likely change over time. Thirdly, you are VERY likely to lose sensation in your breasts so you won't enjoy the touch. And lastly, most men don't like the feel of plastic boobs. There's nothing like the "real" thing. Perky or not, real breasts are the way to go. Of course if you are only going to be on stage and no one is going to touch the breast then go for the "look". But if I were you, I'd rather "feel" good than 'look' good.<P>Just one man's opinion.<BR><P>------------------<BR>PW<BR>

Not sure this helps but I agree with karma girl. Could be deeper problem. Don't do surgery unless all other possibilities have been tried. He shouldn't be at strip clubs if he has a loving wife at home. My wife has zero breasts after 3 kids and now she wears a training bra just to look respectable. Even though I like a body that is in shape, proportional breasts, I still love caressing my wife's as they are quite sensitive. She is the one who is self-conscious and I try and change that. It's no different to penis sizes in guys. I'd love to be larger but I wouldn't consider surgery. Maybe try some diversion, lingerie, massage etc....

caron, i prefer smaller breast. i think it may be the adolescent look i like.<BR>i'm not a breast though so it's not a big deal to me one way or the other. men are visual beings and they respond to whatever they respond to. they, like women, tend to also want whatever they don't have.<BR>i think in your case breast augmentation is appropriate. i suggest you go with the smallest implant you can and still get good results.<BR>chances are your husband will be happey with them. you'll feel better about yourself and that in turn will make you even more attractive to your husband and yourself.<BR>i suspect your husband will still go to strip joints. there's a lot more to see, countless variety of shapes, sizes and colors of breast. countless beautiful smiles and beautiful butts. i still visit them and expect to continue because i love looking at all the beatuful naked woman and the couch dances are exciting beyond decription.<BR>anyway, go for it and good luck!!

caron--<P>I say go for it too. Talk to your selected doctor, WITH H. Then decide what's best to do. <P>The situation you're in right now where H doesn't want to touch your breasts has to be altered somehow. If you don't mind the risks, and your H agrees, you're making the right choice. H needs to be actively involved in this, so he'll know what you've gone through, ultimately for BOTH your needs.<BR>