Hi all haven't been here in a long time. I see lots of changes.... Don't know if any are still here from 3 yrs ago...but I have a question to any of you? Ex left 3+ yrs ago.... back and forth from lover to home for 6months, but he finally stayed gone...We divorced and he remarried 4 weeks later. that was about 1.5 yrs ago. I don't see him. Only contact is through written correspondence... I like that. Sometimes on a rare occasion I pick up the phone and its him to talk to the kids, I don't think its my imagination.... he pauses like he wants to say something more to me.... He recently took me back to court to lower his support was the first I have seen him in months , seen his wife/OW for the first time,,(so-so):-), Anyway when I walked into the room if eyes could talk I would guess he would have said...I'm sorry I can't believe we're in court...Then they put him on the stand to ask questions and on at least 3 occasions he looked at me...to help him with the answers....not his wife not his attorney but me....My attorney even said afterward ... He sure looks to you for guidance doesn't he? He's been such a jerk.... but today I was getting out of the van and he drove by really slow and looking at the house...and since I can't quit thinking about all our good times together and how much I miss him.. Why now I made it thru the holidays,,,But today I want so much to be back together a family. I want him home and I have been crying every since..This is so stupid.I read the book and distance is suppose to help end these feelings RIght?..... WHEN DOES THIS GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY??? I have dated some and don't really enjoy myself and they have been some really nice men. Between work and my kids I find dating a inconvience because its not really who I wanted it to be..I'm a grown woman and if this was one of my kids I would tell them to move on...but it sometimes harder to practice then preach isn't it??? Anyone with any comments.....Thanks

Hi "yes" - let me tell you how to get your name back first [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] - go to "my profile" and put your real signin name and password...find the space that says "name displayed as" and put your real name back in. There was a snafu when the new server was installed...<p>About your post: You aren't alone... and depending on how long you were married... the longer it takes to "get over it"... and I know what you mean about the "looks" and such, as my ex (David) does it still, and I'm married to someone else now!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyway, I'd like to know who you are, to see if I know your history and can better advise...

Wow Yes,<p>I'm so sorry for what your are feeling. That must be really difficult.<p>I haven't been here 3 years, but D-day for me was over 2 years ago and my STBXH moved out 1/15/00. I can relate a little. Most of the time, I am a-okay with it all, but once in a while....hmmmm.<p>I still wonder if I could ever take him back...after all the lies, deceit, etc. 99.9% of me says "no way." The other .1% isn't too sure. The problem is, I still believe in marriage and my vows! My x doesn't have any inclination that I can see of wanting to get back together, although once in a while he says something that makes me wonder. He's still living with the OW.<p>Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you've been heard and I'm thinking of you. Take care and who knows....Just trust God to guide you.<p>Aloha,
Ms.O

thanks for explaining getting my name back. Now, just to get my life back totally....lol . I'm not quite 99 percent sure.. i'm about 90 %.. but he doesn't know that either. The ex is married to the OW and I don't know but I don't think things are all so great there. The kids never really talk about her, they just always talk dad, he does this for them he does that while they are there. They say she lays on the couch and is grouchy and yells alot at my kids and her daughter. So, I don't think 3 extra rugrats was in her plan when she took him on....lol But, despite all he does get them on a pretty regular basis. so they see their daddy.