Hi, I am new here. In July of 2001, about 6 months ago, my wife told me she didn't love me and wanted a divorse. We have been married for 6 years, together for 9, have two children, a girl that is
3 and a boy that was only 6 months at the time.
I didn't even realize that we were having problems. I immediately thought there was someone else but she assured me that this was about us and
no one else. She moved into an apartment 2 weeks later. I continued to try to win her back without much luck. In Nov, she said it was time for us to
try, she moved back home for 2 weeks and at the end of the second week told me that she had been
having a affair since June. I still can't figure
out why she moved back in for these 2 weeeks? She
then moved back out and continues to see this guy, she won't even tell me his name.<p>We were legally seperated in November and I got
joint custody of our 2 children. I pick the kids
from her place every weekday evening after work and return them every morning. We alternate weekends. I continue to support her financally, about $2K a month, make her car payment, pay for
preschool, etc, etc.<p>I have pleaded, begged, cried, promised her the world and everything else I could do to try to get her back but she says that she is in love with him and not with me. She also does not believe that this will have any impact on our children.<p>I have a very successful career,am very ambitious and thought I was a great father and a good husband. This guy is everything that I am not. He is 40 years old, lives at home, makes very little money, never been married, and is in the process of
buying a used trailer. My wife is used to the finer things in life and always enjoyed spending our money. She had the privledge of being a stay home mother and not having to work.<p>I can't figure this out, obviously he is meeting some emotional need that I couldn't. I don't understand how she can be away from her children
everynight and not even call. I am not allowed to call her except for an emergency.<p>For the first 6 months,I begged and cried everytime I saw her,i put alot of pressue on her and tried to guilt her into coming back to the relationship. I am following the concepts that I have learned at marrriage builders and I am trying
to compete with the lover at this point in time.
I am not putting any pressue on her to come back to the marriage and I try to support her and respect all of her decisions, this is extremely difficult to do while I know she is sleeping with him. My plan was to continue down this part for another 3 months and if nothing changes then pull the plug and drop all of the emotional support that I am trying to give to her. I don't have much
confidence that she is going to come back. I love her and want to rebuild our marriage before its too late. Some days I want to give up and move on but I know that I love her and that rebuilding the marriage would be in the best interest of the children.<p>I would appreciate any advise on how to proceed?
