Hi, this is my first time posting. I'm in the middle of a divorce and I feel that its a mistake.
I truly love my wife and want to work things out. I spent years try to figure out ways to end our marriage but now that its happening I realize the mistakes I've made. I've try talking to her but the damage is to great. She doesn't love me anymore! It hurts so much now to realize that I lost the one person I love the most. She feels that our marriage wouldn't work because she's scared that it will go back to the way it was. I just want to have my life back with her!

Keep trying and be consistent. I was where you were a few years ago. I was so unhappy with my marriage and wanted out. When we finally split , I realized that i hadnt done my part to make things worse. He came back home, and things did change on my part. If he had tried to work on things we could still be together. Its worth a chance. Dont give up hope. Show her how much you are willing to change and give her the proof she needs to feel confident with those changes. It may take time. It took us about 6 months. My husband left the ow and came back home, however he had blinders on to how his actions impacted our marriage so things didnt work out. But you have a chance. See if she will go to counseling with you . Hope this helps, Not sure how far along you are to divorce, but i was only one court hearing away from it and we reconciled. Dont give up.

What have you done/said and lived like since all of this has come about?<p>Tell us more about you- about your circumstances and about your wife...there might be more people that can respond and help?<p>How far along are you in the divorce? Are you still living together? Are there kids involved? Have you been to counseling- either together or seperately and for how long? <p>There are alot of questions I guess [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hope that you will come back and share more so that people here can help and encourage!
TLFM

Wow, where do I begin. My wife and I have only been married three years and we have no children. We've dated for five years before we got married and in that time I felt that she was the perfect girl for me. My wife is a very caring, sensitive and loving. However, she has a difficult time forgiving people. She has very low tolerance for people who make mistakes that hurt her feelings. I on the other hand take criticism sometimes as a positive feeling and thats where I made some of my mistakes. My wife became depressed a year before we were married and at that time I had know idea how depression can change a person. I became angry at my wife depression and took it out on her. Because she was depressed, she became less caring and loving but extremely sensitive. I was upset that I was losing her to depression and that I had no control of it. I tried to force her out of depression by telling her that she has to be strong and don't be a weak person but, that was the wrong approach. I was only pushing her further into depression because lack of understanding. All she was looking for was for me to be more loving and caring of her problems. To support her when she needed me. I failed her because I didn't understand what she needed. I was so blinded by my own feelings of her depression that I lost focus at what she neeeded. I realize now that she told me what she needed but I didn't listen. I just felt that she was weak and that she was taking me down with her. Of course this got worst after we got married where I felt that she didn't love me anymore. I pushed her further away and we ended up being like roommates. I was scared that this would continue and didn't want to be in a marriage like this. So, I thought of getting out of the marriage and focus only on that. We went to counseling but it only made it worst. I was driven to prove that she was the problem. If only I realized that if I handled her depression different in the beginning we would never be where we are. There are other factors that caused our marriage to fail however, I feel that we just didn't understand what we both needed. We just got more upset that we weren't taking care of each other needs that it push us apart.