Hi there,
Nothing new with me. Just like everybody: got married to the best man ever because of great love. Gave up on my country, great job, terrific income, fame, custome made suits and jewelries.
He lost his job right away after the wedding. I couldn't find anything equal to my professional level so went to work just to pay the bills. 3 years later: I'm still nobody comparing to what I was, he landed a contract till April. He doesn't communicate as he says he is tired of my financial unstability. He also says he loves me but I should give up on our marriage and go back to my country. He also thinks he should date somebody to feel positive communication (his Visa statement shows he pays a membership at a dating agency). He gets e-mails from the girls inviting him to mastrubate in front of the camera, when I feel bad nausia and stay in bed. His point is that we are from different backgrounds. But cultural things don't bother me as we share great human values. He wants us to be divorced but doesn't mind me living in the house and paying him rent as well as performing householding and sexual duties. As soon as I mentioned my appointment with my lawyer, he started to threaten me to kick me out in the street and burn the house etc. Well, to make it harder, I had my first pregnancy during all this crazyness, and we agreed on abortion. A couple days after that I was invited for a nice job with International Travel and potential for a Vice President chair in a year or two. Now he seems as if he wants to make up but blames me for telling my friends and phoning my mother all about these 3 month. He doesn't have friends, and friends I made here became his too. He is scared to tell his parents about our crisis and laughs when I ask him to go for councelling.
Well, it's so hard on me as being a professional fraud investigator in the past I know about all his hidden assets, plus minimum understanding of the stock market and court procedures already makes me feeling guilty. He used to rip me off and I was paying his debts because we are the family! And now my family from overseas and friends here just want me to go for a good lawyer and take my half. It makes me so sad and empty as I should respect myself. I love him and don't want to hurt him. i don't trust my husband any more, I started to check up on his mail and make a file of any documents I may use later. I don't know where I am now...

Hi G1psy,<p>Welcome to our group. I am sorry that circumstances have brought you here, but if you an get help, understanding and support anywhere, it is here.<p>Read all you can on this site about Plan A, Plan B, love bank, love busters and emotional needs. <p>Trust is always a big thing in these situations. We all agree that it is hard to trust someone who has done many things behind your back, doesn't seem to care for your feelings, and likes to blame their actions on you. This is normal behaviour in 'wayward spouses' (WS's). Well, not NORMAL, but consistent, between most of us here.<p>Once you have read the stuff here, you will see that it gives you a plan to folow,and that if you want to try to save your marriage, there are tools you can use. However the only thing about trust is that it will take TIME, and consistently honest behaviour from your husband.<p>I wish you well,<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky