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Joined: Jul 2001
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Hi everyone.<p>Well, H went back to his work country last Friday, and I really did feel some relief over that. I knew the kids would act up, and they have, every day since then, but I know (hope) they will settle soon.<p>I am here tonight (your morning) because I got an email from H. Nothing earth shattering, just some stuff about business, and I felt ok about it at the time, replied quickly and that was it..........but now I am feeling violated or "something".<p>I suppose I felt that once he went back to SA that I would be free from the worry of him again, but no, his first day back at work and he emails. I do not know why I feel like this. It is like an invasion of my privacy or something!!!<p>Just wanted to vent, I suppose......this whole thing really is crap.
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Joined: May 2000
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Nina,<p>I think that you feel violated because he has in no way acknowledged the pain he has caused or continues to cause you and the children.
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Gee that's weird,<p>I said exactly the same thing to a friend of mine tonight.<p>Thank you.
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Joined: May 2000
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[img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] See my psychologist told me I had inckle [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>(Do you ever read FaithLoveHope's threads? Inkle is the ability to have an inkling...)<p>Seems you may have one, too, judging by what you said to your friend.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Take care of YOU Nina
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Joined: May 2001
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A friend of mine told me I felt that way because I never had the oppurtinuty to have my say in things, EW made all the plans and carried them out the way she wanted it to be. I did all I could to protect myself, a year has gone by and I still have not had my say. I know how you feel. I am fine till I hear from her or about her then, I feel so violated, I just like you did not deserve what I got. My therapist say's they do this to try and stay connected in someway, for me I never got an email, she would just leave messages on the machine, knowing I had no way of contacting her back, I was going to have number changed, but she finally stopped. to this day she still denies to family she left for OM or did anything to hurt me, it is still all my fault even though she was livng with OM 6 weeks after d-day and still is over a year later.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I have an inkle too, and my immediate reaction was to project power (which is sorta related to the first inkle mentioned), by "making" you have to respond...maybe as a balance against the independence you displayed while he was there. <p>But in addition, I also have a "reflection", and wonder if just possibly this means you are still on his mind, and he wants (perhaps unconciously) to keep the door open? But I have to add her, based on your whole story, and his behaviour, I don't think he is marriage material at all.
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