Mrs. O and Betrayed & Desperate:<p>What is left in life for a 43 year old woman?<p>Plenty. There is a so much to live for. I am 43. I survived things and so will you. You must reach inside yourself and stop thinking of yourself as a victim. Try to concentrate on the positive things in your life. Hey, if you wake up every morning, can walk, talk, see, and can take care of yourself, you are doing better than many folks. You will find love again...when you are ready, when you love yourself again, it will happen. There are so many in this world who need love and support...children, older people, people who have no family. <p>Life can just begin at 43. My 30's were miserable...my 40th birthday was pretty bad. No, I never imagined starting over at 43, it is scary, but it is exciting too. I am thrilled with my new job, my new life, my house. I beleived in myself when my ex thought I would crash and burn...I didn't do it...I rose above it...and so will you...you just have to beleive in yourself and know that you may stumble along the way, but its possible.

Thanks vb_guy and Happy Mac,<p>I don't think of myself as a "victim"....I think I'm just going thru a "stumbling" phase right now. <p>Some days I actually get excited about the possibilities of the future...sort of! HA! And I know I've learned a whole lot over the past two years. I'm healing and actually doing pretty good for the most part.<p>But like I posted on another of vb_guy's threads, the feeling that you gave your best, were thrown away, and that you may never be able to give your trust and heart fully ever again, sorta makes the future look dim or hopeless. What's the glory of living if you are afraid to live, give and love with your whole heart? <p>Maybe as time continue to progress and I continue to heal, I WILL be able to live, give and love again....fully. That remains to be seen and therefore, something hard to believe in.<p>Anyway, thanks for your support.
Aloha,
Ms.O

es, probably you are all right,
I still see me as a victim, victim of life, love.
We started when I was still studying, wwe had - nothing. For 11yrs we lived in one room, 3 then 4 of us. I was 3yrs after graduating, searching for job. We lived with his grandfather of 90+, I succeeded to find a job which is kind of ful of demands (science). We built a houise, moved, esrablished and built a company, survived war and when finally in peace, with large company money came, my creer was high he and od left me and yd , threw us like an old towel, cause of a well known b**** in our city, made a baby, married her-everything in 2yrs.
And right now od is finally with us but yd wants to live with them frm Sept, IL don't "know"me, my mother was diagnosed CA, i live on one small state wage, very soon I'll have to give a car away, can not buy almost nothing except food and after paying bills, some things for girls.
And above all lay down each night in an empty bed, each day spend in the house, and yes MsO I started to have talks with a priest in local church..
I realy see no future,prince on white horse who will come to me does not exist. At work I have contact with students, and here is not a custom to go out to coffee or cinema or theatre alone.
So my day: wake up with his picture, go to work, come home, cook, clean,write homeworks, od don't want to talk, yd also last few months, so sit with a book or TV, go sleep with his picture, dream about him...
Last yr I sometimes went out with friends but one can't be boring-they all have families, I am fifth wheel.
I simply can't see any possibilities of the future...<p>MsO
"the feeling that you gave your best, were thrown away, and that you may never be able to give your trust and heart fully ever again, sorta makes the future look dim or hopeless. What's the glory of living if you are afraid to live, give and love with your whole heart? "<p>
that is my worst fear,feeling that I am not only afraid of that but that I would not have a chance to try to feel to love no more<p>VB GUY
please don't be frightened with this thoughts, I hope that will not be your story.
If you wouldn't mind I'll e-mail you on MOn , I have e-mail access only at the office for the moment
Sorry for using your thread for personal vent