My name is Bridgette. I hve been married now for almost 6 years and we have a 6 month old son. I have been told by my husand recently that he had an affair with someone from high school. I AM MAD,ANGRY, CONFUSED, HURT AND NUMB! I don't know what to do. All of these feelings and I have a child to think about. During his confession, my husband tells me "he wants to work on us, he loves me ....blah,blah, blah...." This sounds like a bunch of BS, if he "loves me" how could he have done this and why is it that he should even think that I could resume my life as his wife knowing that I was not deserving of the vows he made me simply because he was going though a mid-life crisis????? I don't know how to repair myself or my trust towards him. I feel like an even bigger fool because he knows that I love him and to him that is an advantage. I AM HUMILITATED! All I can think about is another woman touching him ---- him touching her, all that was special and sacred to me is now nothing and has been cheapend by this "mistake". What do I do ~ how do I pick up the pieces? I have no one to ask --- because I am embarassed that I love a man that could do this to me ---- I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT to even say that I love him. How does anyone get over this, should I even get over this or screw him like he screwed me (no pun intended). Please help if you can. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

What you are feeling is quite real. The pain is so intense, that there is nothing compared to it. It is a feeling of despair, ugly, not wanted, sickening, etc. Yes, the WS doesn't know what you are feeling, they only got what they wanted, and then the sexual contact. Yes, they had the fun, the sweetness, the flirting, the connecting. It hurts the BS so much. I know I am the BS, and my H still rationalizes his affair. At least you have one thing going for you, your husband says he is sorry and wants to work on your marriage. Have you tried counseling with MB. Read their books, very helpful. But remember it takes 2 to work on the marriage 100% to get good results. If only one works 100% and the other 30%, no good. That is where I am, so my marriage is dissolving. You know, there is a little one created by the two of you through the love of both your hearts. If you take your vows seriously, and if you H takes his vows seriously, you have a chance of making it a loving marriage. Get some good counseling to help you two through this tough time. I found it hard to touch my H, after I knew about the sexual affair. My H didn't tell me about the sexual affair until about 5 months after I found out about the emotional affair. He felt it was not the right time to tell. Counseling with the Harleys, both said it should of been told at the same time. Cause I have had to go through h*ll twice. Now I see where there is no hope, cause H still does not say anything negative about the OW, but can say negative about me quite often on the MB boards. He posts here everyday. During counseling, H still doesn't feel any remorse or guilt about the affair. That is where you are far more ahead than us. Go for the good of his words, but get counseling and show him that you are the only one he loves.

Bridgette, here's a cyber-hug for you <<<<<<BRIDGETTE>>>>>>. That done, I'm so sorry you've found yourself here. However, you've come to the right place. Please look through and read everything you can on this site. Post your story under the infidelity section "General Questions II". There are many more people reading and posting there. Honey, the fact that your H had an A does NOT have to mean that your marriage is over. It generally happens when one or more of their emotional needs are not being met. Please get and read Surviving an Affair before you make any decisions. What your H did was terrible; however, most people when given the chance and the right resources for help, survive infidelity and go on to have happier, healthier marriages as a result. Please read and post all you can. It's also a great idea to get to a counselor or pastor and talk things over. Anti-depressants help too. You have one very big thing in your favor; your H has expressed remorse and told you he wants to work on the marriage. Some of us never truly get that chance. Don't do ANYTHING while your emotions are so messed up. I will pray for you and your H and your baby.<p>PEACE,<p>MOM