<p>[ February 11, 2002: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</p>

I'm learning the only way to deal with them..
is to only discuss things about the topic at hand..The kids..and if they try and get into personal aspects..then you just say..well..I have to go and hang up the phone..<p>No, It doesn't solve anything..but..it helps you gain some control back into your life..

Hi there-<p>I'm glad you enjoyed your shower. I was given two, like yours I had friends who thought I needed a lift due to the circumstances. They were nice and did help. I always find looking at tiny baby things uplifting. Enjoy this baby!<p>As for your H. Mine to never wanted to discuss things in person and would try to rush them etc. He was full of excuses for avoiding talking to me and it drove me nuts. So I decided to set some limits. <p>What I do now is bring the topic up. If he is willing to discuss it fine, if not, I handle it on my own. If he has a problem with how I handle it we discuss it. This hasn't really been a problem because he trusts my instincts totally when it comes to the kids. I also have told him from the start that I handle things how I see fit because he doesn't have the time to discuss them and until he makes the time I will continue to do as I see fit.<p>At first he didn't even seem to notice that I was handling things without him and this was irritating, I mean these were our kids. Now a few months later I see him feeling left out and worried about the fact that I am handling things fine without him. He initiates a lot of our kid discussions and is much more willing to talk.<p>You can't change him, but you can change how you deal with him. Set some boundaries. You will feel much more in control.<p>K