I must be crazy! It's been 3 mos. since ex moved out. I haven't heard a word or seen him. I miss him terribly and hurt most every day.<p>I keep looking out my windows to see if maybe he'd drive by with some kind of interest...<p>I've just stopped looking out - he's never there. I can't understand it. I know he's not right for me, I know he cheated many times, I know he lied all the time and that my marriage never had any foundation of trust or honor - but why do I hurt so much and why do I want to hear from him if I know these things and I also know even if I did hear from him, it would never do any good as we'd never work anyhow because of what and who he is...<p>I can't quit thinking about him every every day and hurt when I do think about him. <p>He knows how to contact me and hasn't even made the tiniest attempt to do so. How can someone 'love you more than anyone' and 'you mean the world to me' and just disappear forever like you meant nothing after 5 yrs.?? <p>Can people be THAT cold and actually feel NOTHING???? I'm having such a hard hard time accepting that he doesn't feel anything for me. <p>help me to understand this please. If I loved him which I still do, I'd want to call or see him and sometimes I feel I won't be able to stand another minute without him I love him so much. that's why I married him to start with - because I didn't want to live without him. <p>Is it because he didn't feel that way towards me?? How can a person say all these things and then never act like they said they feel???<p>Jordan

Take a deep breath. Then you need to start to put the focus of your life back on you.<p>Ideas for the long term: It helps to write down your priorities and your goals and what you need to do to meet them. Work on them a little each day.<p>In the short term: Strengthen your relationship with God; focus on others; pamper yourself; read a book you've aleways wanted to; take a class you've always wanted to; join a gym; basically anything to remind you that you have to take care of your physical and emotional well being.<p>This will not only help to improve you as a person, but also take your mind off your Ex. <p>Your Ex may see the changes - you being a more confident and happy person and want to renew the relationship - or you may meet someone new - or you may find that you like living for you, and not someone else. <p>Remember, you can only control yourself. You can't make your Ex do anything and he may need to come to some realizations on his own.<p>If you appear clingy and desparate, then he really won't want to come back.<p>If you are having trouble letting go, then you may want to see a cousnelor for a while, just to get yourself back on track. <p>Hang in there. K