Just had to let outsome of my feelings about this. <p>Surprisingly enough STBXH called earlier and wanted to go to dinner to talk about the kids - actually to tell me what he wanted to do with the kids.<p>It's not that I don't respect his parenting skills its just that he's so in the fog that I can't believe anything he says - he's turned into a compulsive liar - and his definition of being a good parent is whatever he wants and then the kids just have to fall in line.<p>I'm the parent that makes sure the kids are taken care of before I am taken care of - WH is the let me eat first and then I'll get the kids something kind of parent. <p>It's incredibly depressing to sign the divorce papers. To leave your life up to whatever a judge says for the rest of your life. <p>I don't even know if I can get through dinner tonite. I wish that I was at least angry, but just sitting across a table from someone who couldn't care less about anybody but himself and then try to hide behind the good father routine just makes me sick.<p>He's a controlling, manipulative, lying, cheating, selfish, immoral, _______________ ! You can fill in the blank however you would like.<p>It would at least be worth it to divorce him if he would let me just live my life, but with 4 kids and his schedule it's impossible. There is no escape.<p>That's the part that really makes me cry, it that he was controlling in the marriage and now it seems that he may still control me after the marriage. Everybody pray that I get the right judge and that they are sympathetic to my case.<p>Hopefully I'll have the first hearing the Tues. before the Friday we induce at the end of the month. I'm not going to be in much of a state for a while after the baby is born to deal with all this mess.<p>God must have a really good plan for my family to bring us to this, I just wish it was only me that had to deal with this instead of all of our children having to go through this too. <p>How could someone claim to love their kids and do this horrible thing to them. It's the selfishness and the sin I guess.<p>I know that I need to show a new me while in Plan A, but with all of these preg. hormones and the fact that I just signed divorce papers, I feel certain there'll be lots of crying involved. WH will probably have to leave the restaurant. <p>I'll post an update later, because I'll want to get it all out.<p>K

Ok, well STBXH just called me to tell me that he can't make dinner because of ---- well, it doesn't matter. It's always something. I told him that right now I really can't trust anything he says, and his reply is - why not? Of course I had to answer with a sarcasitic I wonder why I would think that? <p>He's a liar! He is still lying about affair, he lies to friends, family and co-workers about me, he lies about the money. And he wonders why I think he lies.<p>I think I'm going to scream, or cry or both. Now two nights are ruined for the kids - tonight and tomorrow, because he wants to try and meet tomorrow, although I don't think he'll be too happy meeting because his attorney will be receiving a copy of the suit.<p>Oh well, live goes on - although I wish it wouldn't be with him hanging around. K

Howdy,<p>You might try not meeting him on his schedule some of the time. Pretend to be busy or something. Don't just agree to meet him any time he wants. Set some the times/places yourself.<p>Become less and less available.<p>jdb

I agree with jd, set some boundries and do things on your terms not his, what is he going to do to you, it is time for you to claim your life, don't give in to him thinking it will make things better,

God is in Control,<p>Look to God right now..Look at what HE is donig..
and what He says in His word..Don't look at
STBXH, he will disappoint you everytime..<p>And when you stop looking at him and what he's doing he loses that control over you..<p>Make plans with your kids, allow your kids to make plans with their friends..and if stbxh calls they can tell him sorry dad, we have plans already...if we'd have KNOWN in advance that you wanted to come over..we wouldn't have made other plans..and YOU do the same thing...Make plans for yourself..and tell him...Oh I am sorry, I didn't know you wanted to _____..<p>This will also give you more control..and after the baby is born you can continue to do the same..