I left my compulsive husband of 20 years of marriage seventeen months ago, I just couldn't take it anymore. His lies had become worse than ever. And since that time I went back for 5 weeks to try to work things out, talked to him about getting help with his lieing problem but the lies continued so I left again. I have filed for divorce and have a hearing on Feb.6th but I am having second thoughts. I can't understand why I can't just let go and move on, he didn't treat me bad but then he didn't treat me good either. He took me for granted and never even opened a door for me, never told me bless you when I sneezed, never bought me a flower, never did anything around the house I did it all, down to the mowing, weedeating (and we had 3 acres), cleaning his garage, taking out the garbage.
Since my leaving him he stopped paying the house payments so he lost our house to foreclosure, he stopped paying the bills, he even just recently stopped sending me child support and stayed home from work for almost 3 months.
I come from a christian family and even my family and friends tell me I am better off without him that I deserve better because I have always been a good wife and housekeeper and waited on him and took care of all the finances and everything, the only thing he had to do was go back and forth to work and come home to a clean house and hot meals and bills paid,and a clean garage and mowed yard.
I have met a man that wants to take care of me, do for me and is good with my 16 year old son, which my husband never even calls him. So why can't I take what God has brought my way and just let go of my husband?

Hey Sasybrat,<p>Sorry you are struggling so much. I know very well what it's like to live with someone who twists the truth. <p>Did you start to feel like you were the crazy one? I did.<p>What have you done in the way of counselling?
Sounds like maybe he's really fallen into a deep depression.
Does he say that he wants you back or that he would like to make your M better? <p>I think there comes a time when it's right to walk away. I'm struggling with that myself. <p>But being a die hard MBer, I like to think that every other avenue has been explored first. <p>I also hear you saying that although you did what you could to meet his needs, he didn't meet yours. I'm sorry. That's a really sad and lonely way to live.<p>Keep us up to date on what happens.<p>Blessings,<p>Cerri

You may always love or have feelings for your H but it's reasonable that he be expected to be an active partner in your home and marriage. I too think it sounds like depression. As far as your new relationship it sounds healthier. And you are fortunate that he and your 16 year old are forming a positive bond. It's not easy for teens to do that with their parents new partner. Good luck to you.