My problems started a little over a year ago. I had an emotional affair with an ex-boyfriend. I loved my husband but I was not in love with him and needed some emotional support. God and your help brought me back, he never knew but I did shut him out, I have told him and asked forgiveness, he granted it. We will be married 6 years in August and we have a five year old little girl. He had a physical and emotional affair that started in July. He chose to move in with his folks instead of working things out. 2 months I prayed and read, he came home the first weekend of November after drill (he is a SSG in the national guard) saying that he broke it totally off with her. I was excited, well he didn't he was coming home to get things in order and I went to get the divorce papers the thursday befor the next drill. I am totally and 100% adament about not divorcing, that as a christian I know is not in Gods will. He got down on his knees and told our little one that he was never coming home, she was devistated. Then once again after drill he came back,(they are in the same unit, so total seperation is extremly difficult) this time with the agenda to stay. We were doing ok, then just this monday, 2 months into recovery, her car broke down and he was going to go get it for her, "She is just a friend" Well, I foolishly told him that if he went to get her car he was not to come home. He went and got her car. He admits that this is stupid, wrong, unecessary, not in Gods will, and that there is nothing to keep him from coming home, yet he says he isn't going to right away. I feel like he is being selfish to play and damaging any love that I have left for him, along with his daughter. You see, he promised her that he would not move again. Now she wants daddy to fix his promise and will forgive him for lying to her. He has become a great liar, but before he was the most honest and trustworthy man that you could ever meet. What do I do. This is a drill weekend, should I see if the pattern repeats, I have the divorce papers but can't bring myself to do it, I don't believe in it. HELP I am extremly hurting. P.S.she sent me an e-mail stating that she was my enemy Any suggestions.

She is her own worst enemy. If you want to keep your husband then fight, but don't let him walk all over you. I don't believe in divorce either, although I'm positive that's how I will end up. All is fair in love and war. If you want to save your marriage you have more of a chance as long as he keeps coming home. Make his time at home unforgettable.

Please read the info. on this site and SAA (Surviving an Affair as well as His Needs/ Her Needs and even Love Busters by Harley).<p>You need to get educated about what is going on with your marriage. A's are like an addiction. They take the most wonderufl people in the workd and make them turn their back on everything - God, family, friends, job etc. It does not help to beg, plead, make demands or threats.<p>You need to get a support system for you right now - friends, family, God, cousnelor etc. Then once you read the material and get educated, you can decide more clearly waht you want to do.<p>If you want to try and save you marriage, you may want to Plan A for a while and then go to Plan B.<p>You can download the EN and LB quesitonaire from this site and then fill them out as if they were your H. <p>These are basically same principles as you would find on www.divorcebusting.com, or in James Dobson's book Tough Love - however, by first implementing Plan A, you make sure that the marriage is an attactive alternative to the OW.<p>There are some recent posts with info. for new comers and the acronyms used on this site.<p>Keep stong. K

Thank you for your words! I have read the site and I have the book on how to survive an affair, he knows what he has to do, he says he doesn't know why he is having a hard time coming home. He will be here today for a while to decide on if he is going to leave his stuff here and stay or pack up again and leave. Please pray that he makes the choice of his family.