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My H told me last night that he is done trying to rebuild our marriage. He says he can't keep digging for something that's not there and isn't going to come. He's not in love with me and he can't keep hurting me, s and himself. He told me he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I feel so dead inside. I love him and was willing to stand next to him for the rest of our lives. I have a pure love for him. Why doesn't he love me? Why can't he not give up? This hurts more than anything I ever imagined. I NEVER imagined in my life that I would be in this spot. I ache all over, I hurt, I cry, I am sad and lonely. I AM SO SAD!!!

That has to be some of the hardes words to hear for person who is committed to their marriage. It's like a stranger. Is there an OW? Does he still live in the home? Keep posting. And hugs to you.

No OW. He moved out in November 01 being committed to rebuilding M. Now he's done. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Oh that is GOOD that there is now OW! Be calm. Do you feel strong enough to tell him it's okay, we can just take some time. Is he talking about starting D proceedings? If not that's a plus too. I forgot do you say you have chidren?

I did tell him that it was ok to take time. I even said that it's ok to feel like he wants to give up, he just can't quit. I said, we haven't tried everything yet, his response...."I've tried everything I am willing to." He wouldn't even say the words, "I want a divorce." He kept saying, things like, I want out, I can't do this anymore, I can't be married to you anymore. I can't keep digging for feelings that aren't going to come back, I can't keep hurting you, s and myself. I want to start over. I said, "Then say the words." He said, "It's not what I want, but it's what I think has to happen. I'm not in love with you and really haven't been for a long time. I tried to make it come back, tried to force myself to feel it, figured if I said it or acted that way, it would happen. It just isn't and I am dying inside." I told him that if he changed his mind, I would be there. He cried somemore, but said he couldn't come back. Knew he wasn't ever coming back. Later on the phone (that was all in person), I asked if he was 100% positive that this is what he wants. He said, "yes." I hung up the phone and that's the last thing I heard from my husband. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] CRYING!!

JD,<p>I am so very, very sorry! You are in my prayers. As I stated though, from the things I know, I do think he'll change his mind after your plan B.<p>Take care girl!<p>ANNA<p>[ February 03, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

{{{{{JD}}}}}}<p>The limbo part is so very hard. I'm sitting here 3 weeks after the H told me he wanted a divorce, watching him be sweet and kind to me, and acting like nothing's wrong. It's awfully hard to make attempts to meet his EN's when I don't know what's going on.<p>Hang in there!