I spoke with my stbx husbands pastor the other day. My stbx is in another state and it will be 8 months since we seperated..we have a baby together..He left just 2 weeks prior to the baby being born and never came back..<p>Well i called his pastor to try and see if there was anything any advice he could give me about my stbx or our situation..Not long after we were talking he disclosed that he was also a single father at one time..I asked him how so...And he said he left his wife and kids as well a long time ago..And he had his kids on the weekends..i didn't want to pry so i didn't ask anymore questions..But how can someone call themselves a single father if they only see their children 2 days out of the week even if that??<p>He really didn't have any advice for me and from what he did say..I got the impression that he thinks it's okay for divorce and he wasn't really trying to make my stbx see that family is important..<p>I'm just worried that my stbx sees that it's okay for his pastor to do it..That divorce is acceptable..I just get the feeling that my stbx is being more encouraged to start all over and forget about the past..I haven't heard from my stbx in almost 2 months..THe last time i did talk to him..He told me he didnt care what happend to me but he does care about our baby..BUt he hasn't made any efforts to help with the baby..HELP

HELLO,
I A'M SOOOOOO SORRY U ARE GOING THROUGH THIS. I KNOW THE FEELING AND HOW IT HURTS TO KNOW THEY JUST DON'T WANT U. BUT U HAVE TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE AS WELL AS YOUR BABY. I KNOW IT IS HARD,VERY HARD. BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING A LONG TIME AGO, U CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE U,AND BY WRITING HIM AND TRYING TO GET HIM BACK IS REALLY HURTING U IN THE LONG RUN. BY THAT I MEAN IS, HE WILL HAVE LESS RESPECT FOR U BY DOING THAT. JUST LET THINGS LIE FOR AWHILE IF U CAN I KNOW IT'S HARD AND MAYBE HE WILL COME TO U WHEN HE SEE'S THAT U JUST STOPED TOTALLY BOTHERING HIM, THAT WILL MAKE HIM WONDER HUMMM WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ALL SHE WAS DOING WAS PESTERING ME AND NOW I HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD. AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN MY PAST. IT IS WORTH A SHOT. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] I HOPE WHAT I HAVE SAID HELPS U SOME, PLEASE READ ALL U CAN THAT IS POSTED HERE SO FAR WHAT I HAVE READ IT IS HELPING ME. AND PLASE KEEP US UP DATED. CATHY.

First priority - take care of that sweet baby. Next things on the list... If you aren't working and getting aid from your state/county make sure they know who and where he is. He needs to at least help support the child. That pastor sounds like a real piece of work. Check out other avenues. Talk to his family, friends. See what that gets you. Has he ever seen the baby? Maybe that will give him a dose of reality.

Are you getting support from the baby's father? If not, do you know where he is? Pursue the matter of support.<p>I think you have posted before about being in an abusive situation. Are you still there? Have you talked with the social service agencies in your area in search of assistance?<p>Besides pining for your child's father, what are you doing? <p>Don't mean to be picking on you. Just want you to know that you can have a better life but it's not always easy getting what you need. But you can do it.