Hi everyone,
I not sure if some of you know my story but, at this moment I'm going through mediation with my wife. I really love my wife and want to work at our marriage however, she wants nothing to do with me. I tell her every time we've met that I love her and that I'm sorry but she gives me no response. During those time I wrote letters and had conversations with her telling her that I'm working at being a better husband. I mention this web site and tell her about all the help I'm getting. The problem I'm having is that anytime I ask her if she's thought about us getting back together she tells me to drop it and don't ask. I'm trying plan A with her and it seems to help but, I don't live at home anymore and its very difficult to do it. I gave her a dozen roses yesterday and a nice letter and she seemed to like it. I just don't know if I'm pushing her to hard to take me back. She maybe getting her EN taking care of by someone else and without me being home its hard to take care of those needs. Is it better to keep reminding her that I love her or should I back off and just hope. I just don't want to mess this up. I'm worried that if I continue to beg her to take me back that it might push her away.

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I just don't know if I'm pushing her to hard to take me back.
Is it better to keep reminding her that I love her or should I back off and just hope.
<hr></blockquote><p>Imediately back off. It's not a matter of backing off and hoping, just back off. She needs some space right now. I don't know your whole story but begging and pleading will only make her want to run away faster. So back off and let her alone for a while.<p>While you are doing this, read through this entire site. All the information you can digest. Get a couple of books from here too.<p>Next go over to the Divorce Busting web site and start reading again. Get a book or two from there also.<p>Right now, you need to give her some space and work on yourself. Make the changes in yourself that you can. You can't make her listen to you. However, you can show her your changes. You are at the beginning of a long journey that will take some time to work through.<p>Be patient and consistant.<p>Good luck and God bless.
jdb

i agree, back off. it may not work, but it is probably your best shot. i am kinda in a similar situation, the husband and i are still together but he pays no mind to me whatsoever. its like we aren't even married. not even friends. never asks where i've been, who i've been with, to the point i think i could tell him i have a boyfriend and he wouldn't even care. seems he is waitng for me to leave and i really don't know how to reel him back into me and the marriage. in the sense of caring about me and what i do. i ask about his life and we talk but he never makes an effort or attempt toward me. thinking divorce...? suggestions?

J.D. had some great suggestions.<p>Plan A is about you and you may also want to print our the EN quesitonaire and LB questionaire and fill them out as if you were your wife.<p>It sounds like relationship talk is an LB for her - so you need to stop immediately.<p>The divorcebusting info. was a good suggestion too. A little 180 may help.<p>IF you are unfamiliar with the acronyms - scroll down the board until you get to the post for new members and it contains links to some helpful sites.<p>Knowledge is power right now.<p>Get your support system in place - friends, family, counselor, priest or minister, and most importantly God. You'll need them all to get through this. <p>Keep posting with quesitons. K

I did a similar thing today by leaving my WW a single rose and card on the passengers seat when we left for MC. The difference is that we are talking and I think she is trying to work with me. The gesture seemed to have earned a little LB$, but I am still wondering if I am trying too hard or whether I should give her space. <p>I understand your situation and I am having the same concerns about whether I am doing the right thing. Sometimes seems that there is never a right thing to do.<p>Praying for you!!<p>WH2U

Thanks everyone,
I've only recently started telling her my feelings and I usually let a day or two go before I talk to her about our relationship. I'm trying to deposit LB$ and show that I can change. I don't try to bother her and I generally tell her that I don't want to bother her. Thats one of the reasons I left my home was to give her more space. She used to go out a lot but recently hasn't. Which makes me feel more comfortable knowing that she is safe. I'm not a jealous, controlling husband and never will be. I just want her to know that I'm there for her and that I still love her very much.