Lisa,<P>I’m glad to see you back. I have thought an awful lot about playing marbles lately, and I understand how you feel. Btw, I never was any good at that game, any tips? <P> <BR><P>------------------<BR>Scott

Hey PF!<P>Does this mean that we agree that it is o.k. for you to say tomAto and I to say tomahhhto?! <P>Tips for playing marbles:<P>* if people tell you that they don't agree with your choice of marbles, seek clarity as to why they don't - then you can make an informed decision on whether or not to keep playing<P>* Only "move on" and play marbles by yourself if it is really what YOU want and NEED - otherwise, if you enjoy playing marbles with others, then play for your sheer enjoyment and benefit and remember to keep things in perspective<P>* While not everyone always likes the same marbles (I always liked chrystals, you may prefer allies ), that's o.k. <P>* if while playing marbles, you have a disagreement, take 10 deep breaths and realize that it is o.k. to agree to disagree on some things and that everybody had different reasons/needs to play!<P>One needs to keep perspective on what brings you to the game in the first place - and what reasons you wish to keep playing!<P>Thank you for your post. Maybe in my huffyfit I did not explain clearly enough my reasons and my motivations for being here (not sure that I understand them myself but I am trying) or my reasons for what I think you and I both agree to call a "mis-interpretation".<P>J and I have been together a long time and due to many circumstances, have put off a once-planned wedding (reason that was put off was the death of my father the day prior). We chose to live together despite due to the fact that we had chosen to be together forever and were newly pregnant at the time. In my eyes and his, we are married. I fully understand Dr. Harley's reasons for not living together prior to but once you are a "family", and live as same, somehow it is not quite so cut and dry as "just leave and be greatful you never did marry". We own a home, we are raising two children who call us mommy and daddy, and I find it difficult (no impossible) to call him my "boyfriend" and he to call me his "girlfriend". Our neighbors are all under the understanding that we are married - no one has ever asked and we never thought it an issue enough to mention.<P>Point being, when I first came here, and offered my first post, I thought that the information that I gave would help provide answers for my situation as a "couple", and that there would be less emphasis on the "not married in the eyes of the chursh". When LMS suggested the infidelity board, I felt that a "fresh start" outlining myself as W and J as my H would offer a more clear perspective for what I feel is my situation ("married" and wish to continue to be) and what I know is a commitment that both J and I share. Like others here at MB, we both know that the ways that we have gone about caring for one another are lacking but are doing the best that we can. At this point, simply having a church wedding would not "fix" everything, nor would it strengthen a commitment that we both know is already there. Thanks for listening to why I play marbles the way I do!<P>With Warm thoughts and thanks for reaching out,<BR>The imposter (lol)<P>

“Fresh starts” are a good thing. I often wish that we were more open to offering our loved ones a new beginning when they need one. To me this is the true meaning of the word forgiveness. Thanks for the tips, I’ve been taking notes. I’m not perfectly clear why I am here either. My best guess is that this forum is self prescribed therapy to help develop my lacking socializing skills by relying on the strengths of my problem solving abilities, and in the process maybe help someone else. Regardless of what our needs from this forum are, advice, support, venting frustration, entertaining or therapeutic conversation, we all have a right to be here. Btw I use the word “entertaining” in its most congenial sense. Tip toe, tip toe, tip toe. <P>Now back to my serious side. I have implemented Dr Harley’s concepts into my everyday life. The results have been incredible. I feel that commitment is the foundation in which the MB’s concepts are based on. Only you and J can determine the level of your commitment. <P>Good luck to you both.<P>Ps I’ll be happy to play marbles with you anytime. <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Scott