My X and my STBX are both balding! My STBX was very attractive to me when we 1st dated and he was in the best shape ever. Now he has a big, potbelly and he still is attractive to me... and obviously still attractive to others.<p>I don't want to be married again. I don't trust anyone anymore and it will just kill me to go through this dating then marriage stuff!<p>I am now the most bitter and insecure person to walk the earth! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Have a great day!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Free,<p>I don't know if you remember me or not from over a year ago, but you were so helpful talking with me about the former man in my life, who is so much like yours.<p>I'm so sorry things are not well for you and it has come to separating.<p>(((((((((FREE))))))))))<p>It WILL get better my friend, no matter how hard it seems today. You are a loving, compassionate woman who deserves so much more than you are getting right now. This plan B may restore your marriage, it may not, but I can see you need it for YOU.<p>Prayers are with you.

Here are the qualities I am looking for in a man, and none of them have to do with physical appearance.<p>1. An ability to be FAITHFUL in a committed relationship.
2. Someone who is emotionally healthy and able to share a stable life.
3. Intelligence and willing to converse.
4. Compassion.
5. Sincerity and HONESTY.
6. A Sense of Humor.
7. Shared Interests, including Spirituality.
8. Someone who can be verbally and emotionally intimate.
9. Someone who can love me as much as I love him!
10. Family and marriage are important to him.
11. Someone who will work to resolve, rather than to win, conflicts in a relationship.
12. Someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.<p>I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.<p>Oh, and by the way, I haven't put anything on my list for a man that I cannot offer from myself. I've been working on my issues. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Ashygirl,<p>I don't remember (sorry)! I'll go back and research under your name. How are things going?<p>I don't believe we'll get back together - there are way too many lies to heal from and he is starting his head games.<p>Thanks for the post and I'm glad to hear I helped (sometimes I think I do more harm than good)!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

It's ok about not remembering, it was a long time ago! You, Just Learning and Bellevue helped me to get some perspective on my situation. <p>Things are going very well for me, I'm graduating (magna cum laude,yeah!) in May and then I'm returning back to the east coast in August...back to my family and friends who love and supported me throughout all this ordeal. I'm not running away, just going back to what I left to come out west for him. But I'm going back a much different woman, stronger from all that happened.<p>You cannot change anyone else, and I've learned that the hard way, but my life is so much richer and better in so many ways! I've healed, grown, and learned so much about myself and about relationships. I've dated a little, but mostly the past year or so has been about ME, who, after all, is the most important person there is! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I lurk mostly, because during the time I was hurting so badly and searching for answers, I came to "know" so many people here, and I followed their stories, prayed for them, and tried to apply the principles here and lessons from seeing how others handle relationship issues to my own life.
I have thought of you from time to time, and didn't see you for so long, and hoped things were going well for you. I'm sorry you are going through this.<p>I see strength in you as well, from your postings. I know it's hard, but you will make it. May God bless you, and lead you into His perfect plan.<p>[ February 13, 2002: Message edited by: ashygirl ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by vb_guy:
<strong>to all you women out there...I wonder....if I were not in posession of those qualities I listed, would you be interested in me? I don't think so.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I would certainly NOT be interested in a relationship with a PERFECT specimen of manhood (for reasons stated earlier). I DON'T CARE how much money you make, as long as you're working and making some. I like a person with common sense and a little bit-o-brain, but super-smart...no that was my STBXH (and he lacked the common sense). And as far as a penis size....I really don't care, as long as love-making was just that....LOVE-making. (It's about what's in your heart, not what's in your pants.)<p>So, would I be interested? The reason I may not find you attractive is because you THINK that's all a women wants (your reasons listed above). If that's REALLY what you think, then no, you wouldn't be attractive to me. <p>Because what attracts me is all the OTHER STUFF....your sense of humor, your ability to care, your spiritualilty, you smile, your maturity, your integrity. Those are the things that are really the bottom line with me when it comes to attraction. <p>So there you go. One woman's opinion. Take it or leave it. <p>Aloha,
Ms.O

You don't meet people if you don't make it a priority to do so! I found my soul mate (now husband of three years) within months of deciding that I didn't want to be alone anymore, and made it a priority to find someone special. The best source for me was online matching services. LOTS of interesting people who live near you are doing that, and you can meet new people every day online. Safely.