Hi every one, wow its been a really long times since I have actually posted anything about myself or how things are going, I see so many new names here and I am truly sorry for the pain every one of you are going through. And I still see some of the “old” faces that helped me out a time or two or a thousand. And I’m glad they are still here to help.<p>Now about me I guess, well since my last “update” posts nothing really has changed my H is still dragging his feet over the divorce (started in Oct of 00) but I am still at a loss why since he moved OW in with him almost 2 years ago. They have since left Alaska and live on the AFB base in NM now about 12 hours away. He still pops in and out of the kid’s lives once or twice a year and seems to be intent on shoving OW down their throats. (Never spends time alone with the kids she always is there) which has seems to end up not having the effect he wanted, because my son truly don’t like her one bit and has told him so ( [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] such a smart boy for only being 8). He has told me “ don’t tell dad but she is short and fat and looks like the lady ogre on shrek and I think you can take her mom.” To which I look at him smile and say well it is very sweet that you look out for mommy but that would not be the right thing to do would it? <p>Now my relationships seem to be the same thing over and over again. I meet a very nice man and in 3 months he has to move, (thanks to the army) or I break it off cause “it” just isn’t there and I can’t move past friends. Now I am currently seeing a police officer, ( [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] yes mitzi I found another uniform lol.) who seems to be the man I have dreamed of being with since I was little and dreaming of knights on white horses. He is every bit an southern gentleman loves my kids but very busy, we don’t get to see each other much and its hard, and now his mother is sick and he will be moving back to VA as soon as he sells his house. I cant get a break here lol.<p>As for my STBX I still hold a lot of love for him and I’m sure I always will, he has shown a little bit of the person I once knew, when we found out I have cervical cancer.
His father told him and he hung up the phone and the next morning when I woke up he was on my front steps “just to be here”. We talked a lot over that weekend about what was going on and I told him I was sorry in advance if I say any thing mean toward him at this time in my life because I am more angry at him now that I have ever been. Because now I am going through this alone and I wouldn’t not be if maybe he had tried once instead of feeding me lies and saying there never was an OW. He said he understood and was very sorry for not trying, but we both agree it is too late for sorry now. It looks if we can get this divorce over with that maybe we can be friend the best X-lovers can who have children any way. He knows that the only point in life I will ever trust him in again is when it comes to the kids.<p>
Well that’s just about it for now I guess I still lurk and drop a post in here and there just know you all are always in my thoughts and I love each and every one of you that I have got to know.<p>Oh BTW mitzi, mom told me to tell you she is very happy for you and terry, Luvs ya Hun.<p>Lesa<p>[ February 12, 2002: Message edited by: LMS ]</p>
